(is drunk and is insulting Hollom by bringing 'the jonah theory' out into the open) It's like Killick says. Mornin' o' the battle, 'e doesn't 'ave the guts to beat to quarters. Then 'is entire gun crew's killed, 'cept for 'im. Momen' 'e goes up the mizzen, Will falls. And who's watch was it when we lost out wind?

Capt. Jack Aubrey: Do you want to see a guillotine in Piccadilly?
Crew: No!
Capt. Jack Aubrey: Want to call that raggedy-ass Napoleon your king?
Crew: No!
Capt. Jack Aubrey: You want your children to sing the "La Marseillaise?"
Crew: NO!

Capt. Jack Aubrey: Well, Stephen...the bird's flightless?
Dr. Stephen Maturin: Yes.
Capt. Jack Aubrey: It's not going anywhere.

Dr. Stephen Maturin: By comparison, the Surprise is a somewhat aged man-o-war. Am I not correct?
[Everyone in the room freezes in horror.]
Capt. Jack Aubrey: Would you call me an aged man-o-war, doctor? The Surprise is not old; no one would call her old. She has a bluff bow, lovely lines. She's a fine sea-boat: weatherly, stiff and fast... very fast, if she's well handled. No, she's not old; she's in her prime.

Dr. Stephen Maturin: Well, Mr. Blakeney, it would appear that you have the makings of a naturalist.
Midshipman Blakeney: Well, Sir, perhaps I could combine them to be a sort of. . . fighting naturalist. . . like you, Sir.

[Capt. Aubrey is briefing his officers.]
Capt. Jack Aubrey: Right! From now on, no sirs, no salutes, no ayes, no whistles, no bells.
Officers: [as one man] Aye, Sir.

[The crew is watching Dr. Maturin perform brain surgery on the ship's deck.]
Able Seaman Slade: Is them his brains, Sir?
Dr. Stephen Maturin: No, that's just dried blood.
[The crew grumbles in disappointment.]
Dr. Stephen Maturin: [after wiping away the dried blood] Those are his brains.

[Toasting]
Capt. Jack Aubrey: To wives and sweethearts.
Officers: To wives and sweethearts.
Capt. Jack Aubrey: May they never meet.

[quoting Samuel Johnson] He who would pun would pick a pocket, sir.

Do you not know that in the service...one must always choose the lesser of two weevils?

Down! Down! Everyone down!!

England is under threat of invasion, and though we be on the far side of the world, this ship is our home. This ship is England.

For England, for home, and for the prize!

Name a shrub after me— something prickly and hard to eradicate.

Paul Bettany — Stephen Maturin