Mallrats

Mallrats quotes

78 total quotes (ID: 775)

Brodie Bruce
Jay
Multiple Characters
Rene
T.S. Quinn


Women, always leaving you after you've had the crap kicked out of you.


That's criminal. [shouts] That kid is back on the escalator again!

You want me to rub it?

How is it that I go from the verge of hot Floridian sex with Brandi to Man of Steel coital debates with you in the food court?

You're nothing but a lot of talk and a badge! (reference to The Untouchables)

[referencing Trisha] How does that Jr. Masters in Johnson know about my proposal?

Fly fatass, fly!

[To Silent Bob] Where do you get these wonderful toys?

What you need is a fatty-boom-batty blunt, and I guarantee you'll be seeing a sailboat, an ocean, and maybe even some of those big-titted mermaids doing some of that lesbian shit. Look at me, look at me, you sloppy bitch!

[after hitting La Fours over the head with a baseball bat] Come, son of Jor-El! Kneel before Zod! Snootchie-bootchies. Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Silent Bob here's an electrical genius. He won the science fair in eighth grade by turning his mom's vibrator into a CD player using some chicken wire and shit. The mother****er's like MacGyver--no, the mother****er's better than MacGyver.

[Shows a Hustler spread to Silent Bob] Dude, this one looks like your mom. [Silent Bob nods]

[Explaining the details of Operation Drive By to Silent Bob] First you take a run at La Fours with a sock full of quarters. I'd do it, but I put my back out humping your mom last night. Nooch. Okay, you clock him on his headpiece and knock his ass out cold. That's when phase two kicks in. I attack the structure Wolvie Berserk style, and knock out the ****ing pin and bickety-bam! The mother****er is rubble. Hence, no game show.

Dude, you the mad chick magnet.

[Explaining the details of Operation Dark Knight to Silent Bob] Okay, Lunch Box, let's try this again. We tie you to the roof and you jump off and sail like a Spitfire passing right over the arch nemesis La Fours. You then swing up to the stage and knock out the pin. And when that's gone, the stage is trashed and we go smoke a bowl. You got it? Now get your fat ass up there. And dude, don't forget your helmet. Snoogins.