Love Actually quotes

View Quote Mikey, DJ interviewer: Well. Thanks for that, Bill.
Billy Mack: For what?
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Well, for actually giving a real answer to a question. Doesn't often happen here on "Radio Watford" I can tell you.
Billy Mack: Ask me anything you like, I'll tell you the truth.
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Uh... best shag you've ever had?
Billy Mack: Britney Spears.
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Wow!
Billy Mack: No, only kidding. She was rubbish.

View Quote Billy Mack: [about his new song] This is shit, isn't it?
Joe: [gleefully] Yep, solid gold shit, maestro.

View Quote Colin: [after insulting the food] And what do you do Nancy?
Nancy the caterer: I'm a cook.
Colin: Ever do weddings?
Nancy the caterer: Yes I do.
Colin: They should have asked you to do this one.
Nancy the caterer: They did.
Colin: God, I wish you hadn't turned it down.
Nancy the caterer: I didn't.

View Quote [trying to make conversation with Aurelia, who doesn't understand a word] No, right. Silence is golden. As the Tremeloes said. Clever guys. Although I think the original version was by, uh, Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. Great, great, great band. [hums "Silence is Golden"] Oh, shut up.

View Quote Juliet: We've never got friendly. I just wanted to say I hope that can change. I'm nice, I really am, apart from my terrible taste in pie. And it would be great if we could be friends.

View Quote Mia: I'll just be hanging round the mistletoe, hoping to be kissed.

View Quote Billy Mack: I realized that Christmas is the time to be with the people you love.
Joe: Right.
Billy Mack: And I realized that as dire chance and fateful ****up would have it, here I am, mid 50s, and without knowing it I've gone and spent most of my adult life with a chubby employee. And much as it grieves me to say it, it might be that the people I love is, in fact... you.
[pause]
Joe: Well, this is a surprise.
Billy Mack: Yeah...
Joe: Ten minutes at Elton John's and you're as gay as a maypole.

View Quote Harry: Tell me, exactly, how long it is that you've been working here?
Sarah: Two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, what, two hours?
Harry: And how long have you been in love with Karl, our enigmatic chief designer?
Sarah: Ahm, two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, an hour and thirty minutes.
Harry: I thought as much.
Sarah: Do you think everybody knows?
Harry: Yes.
Sarah: Do you think Karl knows?
Harry: Yes.
Sarah: Oh that is bad news.
Harry: Well I just thought maybe the time had come to do something about it.
Sarah: Like what?
Harry: Invite him out for a drink and then after about twenty minutes casually drop into the conversation the fact that you'd like to marry him and have lots of sex and babies.
Sarah: You know that?
Harry: Yes. And so does Karl. Think about it. For all our sakes. It's Christmas.
Sarah: Certainly. Excellent. Will do. Thanks, boss.

View Quote Daniel: And I'm afraid there's something really wrong, you know. I mean, clearly it's about his mum, but Christ, he might be injecting heroin into his eyeballs for all I know.
Karen: At the age of eleven?
Daniel: Maybe not his eyeballs, then. Maybe just his veins.

View Quote Stacey, American Dreamgirl: [points to beer bottle] How do you say this one?
Colin: [in a thick accent] Uh, Bottle.
Stacey, American Dreamgirl, Jeannie, American Angel, Carol-Anne, American Goddess: [giggling, mimicking accent] BOHT-el!
Jeannie, American Angel: [points to straw] How 'bout this?
Colin: [in a thick accent] Straw.
Stacey, American Dreamgirl, Jeannie, American Angel, Carol-Anne, American Goddess': [mimicking accent] Strohw!
Carol-Anne, American Goddess: [points to table] And this?
Colin: Table.
Stacey, American Dreamgirl, Jeannie, American Angel, Carol-Anne, American Goddess: [starting to repeat] Tab - Oh, the same. It's the same.
[Colin nods apologetically]

View Quote I'm glad it was helpful. Don't go showing it around too much it needs a bit of tweaking. I've got to head out to lunch...early lunch. You can just show yourself out. [pauses] It's a self preservation thing...you see.

View Quote Prime Minister: Hello, does Natalie live here?
Harris Street little girl: No she doesn't.
Prime Minister: Oh dear. OK.
Harris Street little girl: Are you singing carols?
Prime Minister: Er, no. No, I'm not.
Harris Street little girls: Please, sir, please. Please.
Prime Minister: Well, I suppose I could.
Harris Street little girl: Please.
Prime Minister: All right.
[pause]
Prime Minister, PM's chauffeur, Terry: [singing] Good King Wenceslas looked out, on the Feast of Stephen / When the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even / Brightly shone the moon that night, though the frost was cruel / When a poor man came in sight, gathering winter fuel.
[Little girl and her friends dance and cheer]
Prime Minister, PM's chauffeur, Terry: Thank you. Merry Christmas.
[Girl shuts door]

View Quote Oh.Hiya kids. Here is an important message from your Uncle Bill. Don't buy drugs..... Become a pop star, and they give you them for free!

View Quote [to a portrait of Margaret Thatcher] Did you ever have this kind of problem? Yeah - of course you did, you saucy minx.

View Quote I left Elton John's, where there were a hefty number of half-naked chicks with their mouths open, to hang out with you, at Christmas. It's a terrible mistake, Chubs, but you turn out to be the ****ing love of my life. And to be honest, despite all my complaining, we have had a wonderful life.