Grandpa: Now, on Wednesdays when the mailman brings the TV Guide sometimes the address label is curled up just a little. You'll be tempted to tear it off. Don't. You'll only wind up rippin' the cover and I don't like that. And stay outta here.
Sam: Wait, you have a TV?
Grandpa: No. I just like to read the TV Guide. Read the TV Guide, you don't need a TV.
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