Grandpa quotes

Lucy, you're the only woman I ever knew who didn't improve her situation by getting divorced.

Rules! We've got some rules around here. Second shelf is mine. That's where I keep my root beers and my double-thick Oreo cookies. Nobody touches the second shelf but me. There's another rule around here, and I want you to pay close attention. Don't touch anything. Everything is exactly where I want it.

[as Michael comes home in the morning] Looks like I wasn't the only one who got lucky last night.

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