The Long Kiss Goodnight quotes

26 total quotes

Mitch Henessey
Samantha Caine/Charly Baltimore

View Quote [On arriving at the train station, Mitch takes his gun from a file in the trunk and puts it into his pocket]
Mitch Henessey:[Singing] Put the car keys in my left pocket. Gun in the right hand side.
Samantha Caine: It makes a bulge! People will see it.
Mitch Henessey: You want me to put it into my pants and shoot my damn dick off?
Samantha Caine: What? So now you're a sharp shooter?

View Quote Mitch Henessey: And what about your daughter, what's her name . . . Cathead?
Charly Baltimore: Caitlin.

View Quote Assassin: Hey, princess. Want some company?
Charly Baltimore: No, thanks. I'm saving myself for when I get raped.

View Quote [to a drunken friend] Earl, do me a favor? … Every few words, have some bubbles come out of your mouth and say "hic".

View Quote [to her 7-year-old daughter] Stop being a little baby and get up. Life is pain. Get used to it!

View Quote [to Timothy] It ain't over. You're going to die screaming... and I'm going to watch. Am I telling the truth?

View Quote [later, watching Timothy plummet to his death] Die screaming, mother****er!

View Quote Chefs do that.

View Quote You couldn't hit a lake if you were standing on the bottom of it.

View Quote I never did one thing right in my life, you know that? Not one. That takes skill.

View Quote What I'm saying is, back when we first met, you were all like "Oh phooey, I burned the darn' muffins." Now, you go into a bar, ten minutes later, sailors come runnin' out. What up with that?

View Quote I ain't handsome, I ain't rich, and the last time I got blown, candy bars cost a nickel.

View Quote Naw, I sock 'em in the mouth and yell, "Pop goes the weasel." Who the **** are you?

View Quote Do not make an assumption, cause when you make an assumption, you make an ass outta you; and umption!

View Quote [Waldman hands a frightened Samantha a gun and pulls another one out.]
Mitch Henessey: Tell me, old man, how many of those things you got?
Nathan Waldman: Three: one shoulder, one hip, and one right here next to Mr. Wally, where most pat-downs never reveal it, as an agent's often reluctant to feel up another man's groin. Any other questions?
Mitch Henessey: Yeah! What's the weather like on your planet?