Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels quotes
69 total quotesMultiple Characters
Rory Breaker
Soap
Tom
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Rory Breaker: Your stupidity may be your one saving grace.
Nick the Greek: Uuugh?
Rory Breaker: Don't "uuugh" me, Greek boy! How is it, that your soon to be dead friends thought they might be able to steal my canabis, and then sell it back to me? Is this some white ****'s joke, that black ****s don't get? Coz I ain't ****in' laughing Nich-ohl-arse.
Nick the Greek: Uuugh?
Rory Breaker: Don't "uuugh" me, Greek boy! How is it, that your soon to be dead friends thought they might be able to steal my canabis, and then sell it back to me? Is this some white ****'s joke, that black ****s don't get? Coz I ain't ****in' laughing Nich-ohl-arse.
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Lock, stock, the ****in' lot.
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Dean: He's got the guns. Go ahead. You get them.
Gary: Why me?
Dean: You're supposed to be the hard case.
Gary: [shrieks] You get the guns. I drive the car!
Gary: Why me?
Dean: You're supposed to be the hard case.
Gary: [shrieks] You get the guns. I drive the car!
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Mother! Brother! Any other sucker! They're still ****ing guns! And they still fire ****ing bullets!
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[Trying to stop his monitor switching off] Come on! Not now, please, not - [monitor goes off] Oh, you ****ing bastard.
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Don: I'll fold.
Phil: Fold? Is that the only word you learnt at school?
Don: No, I also learned the word ****!
Phil: Fold? Is that the only word you learnt at school?
Don: No, I also learned the word ****!
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Paul: Come take a look at this.
Traffic Warden: Take a look at what, exactly?
Paul: Well, the van's half-full. So all I have to do is fill it up, put you in it, [knocks him out] and I'm off.
Traffic Warden: Take a look at what, exactly?
Paul: Well, the van's half-full. So all I have to do is fill it up, put you in it, [knocks him out] and I'm off.
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Guns for a show, knives for a pro
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There's no money, there's no weed. It's all been replaced by a pile of corpses.
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Soap: Have a look at these. [hands Tom a ski mask]
Tom: What are we supposed to do with these?
Soap: Put them on your head, stupid.
Tom: Christ.
Soap: If you think I'm turning up clean-shaven and greet them with a grin, you've got another thing coming. These fellas are your neighbors. I thought it might be a good idea to disguise ourselves.
Tom: Right...er, good thinking, Soap. Well done.
Soap: I brought weapons as well.
Tom: What do you mean weapons?
Soap: [pulls a bundle from his coat and unrolls it, revealing many large knives] These.
Tom: Jesus! [grabs the bundle and rerolls it] Let's keep 'em covered up, eh? Couldn't you get anything bigger?
Soap: [pulls a machete from his trousers]] What, like that? What d'you think?
Tom: I think you need help.
Tom: What are we supposed to do with these?
Soap: Put them on your head, stupid.
Tom: Christ.
Soap: If you think I'm turning up clean-shaven and greet them with a grin, you've got another thing coming. These fellas are your neighbors. I thought it might be a good idea to disguise ourselves.
Tom: Right...er, good thinking, Soap. Well done.
Soap: I brought weapons as well.
Tom: What do you mean weapons?
Soap: [pulls a bundle from his coat and unrolls it, revealing many large knives] These.
Tom: Jesus! [grabs the bundle and rerolls it] Let's keep 'em covered up, eh? Couldn't you get anything bigger?
Soap: [pulls a machete from his trousers]] What, like that? What d'you think?
Tom: I think you need help.
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J: [Discussing their careers as marijuana growers] I've a strong suspicion we should have been rocket scientists, or Nobel Peace Prize winners or something.
Charles: Peace Prize? Ooh. Be lucky to find your penis for a piss, the amount you keep smoking.
Charles: Peace Prize? Ooh. Be lucky to find your penis for a piss, the amount you keep smoking.
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Anyway, **** it. The battle is over and the war is won.
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Oi! Keep your fingers out of my soup!
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Rory Breaker: What did you shoot him with, an air rifle?
Winston: Look, we grow weed. We're not mercenaries.
Rory Breaker: You don't say.
Winston: Look, we grow weed. We're not mercenaries.
Rory Breaker: You don't say.