Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels quotes

69 total quotes (ID: 353)

Bacon
Barry the Baptist
Eddie
Multiple Characters
Rory Breaker
Soap
Tom


Is this some white ****s' joke that black ****s don't get? 'Cause I'm not ****ing laughing Nicholas (comically pronounced Nee-Cole-Us).


It's a deal, it's a steal, it's a sale of the ****ing century! In fact, **** it, Nick, I think I'll keep it.

No, **** that. You can think about it. I am panicking and I'm off.

(To Tom about the guns) So, the only thing connecting us to the case, is in the back of your car which is parked outside?!

Gary: So who's the gov'? Who we doing this for?
Barry the Baptist: You're doing it for me, that's all you need to know. You know because you need to know.
Gary: I see. One of them "on a need to know basis" things is it? Like one of them James Bond films.
Barry the Baptist: Careful. Remember who's giving you this job.

[Trying to stop his monitor switching off] Come on! Not now, please, not - [monitor goes off] Oh, you ****ing bastard.

Rory Breaker: Your stupidity may be your one saving grace.
Nick the Greek: Uuugh?
Rory Breaker: Don't "uuugh" me, Greek boy! How is it, that your soon to be dead friends thought they might be able to steal my canabis, and then sell it back to me? Is this some white ****'s joke, that black ****s don't get? Coz I ain't ****in' laughing Nich-ohl-arse.

What do you want a medal? I'll shoot you in the ****ing throat if I don't get my ganja back!

Big Chris: I've got some bad news for you, John.
John: What the ****?
[Chris slamms top of tanning bed on John]
Big Chris: Mind your language in front of the boy!
John: Jesus Christ!
[Chris does it again]
Big Chris: That includes blasphemy as well!

The entire British Empire was built on cups of tea, and if you think I'm going to war without one, mate you're mistaken.

Lock, stock, the ****in' lot.

Don: I'll fold.
Phil: Fold? Is that the only word you learnt at school?
Don: No, I also learned the word ****!

A minute ago this was the safest job in the world. Now it's turning into a bad day in Bosnia.

Gary: Shotguns? What, like guns that fire shots?
Barry the Baptist: Oh, you must be the brains then. Yes, that's right, guns that fire shots.

Hatchet Harry: You must be Eddie, J.D.'s son.
Eddie: Yeah. You must be Harry. Sorry, didn't know your father.
Hatchet Harry: Never mind son, you just might meet him if you carry on like that.