The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou quotes

115 total quotes (ID: 342)

Alistair Hennessy
Bill Ubell
Jane Winslett-Richardson
Klaus Daimler
Ned Plimpton
Oseary Drakoulias
Steve Zissou


Oseary Drakoulias: You must swear, legally swear that you will not kill that shark, or whatever it is, if it actually exists.
Steve: I'm going to fight it, but I'll let it live. What about my dynamite?
Oseary Drakoulias: [to assistant] Phillip, dynamite.


Steve: [handing Ned a gun] Here.
Ned: Oh, no, no, no.
Steve: No exceptions. Everyone gets one. Anne-Marie! Do the interns get glocks?
Anne-Marie: No. They all share one.

Steve: [referring to Hennessy] How could you lay that slick ****?
Eleanor: Well, I was in love with him at the time...

Steve: [to interns] No. I can't give you full credit, but I'm not gonna flunk you either. You're all getting incompletes.
Intern: This is bullshit.

Steve: Are you sure?
Klaus: Yes, I am.
Steve: I don't understand. Why?
Klaus: What do you mean?... Wait a second. What are we doing? You said cross the line if.
Steve: Cross the line if you're going to quit.
Klaus: Oh... Do it again. I misunderstood.

Steve: Can you hear the Jack Whales singing?
Ned: [Tanker goes off] Beautiful. I wonder what they're saying.
Steve: Well actually that's a Sludge Tanker over there... [Several whales sing] There you go!

Steve: Encounter with highly abnormal sharklike fish! Ten meters in length, unfamiliar dorsal features, spots all over it! I shot it dorsally with a homing dart! Esteban was eaten! Check the scanning monitor! Start tracking before it dives too deep!
Klaus: Esteban was bitten?
Steve: Eaten!
Klaus: Is he dead?
Steve: Esteban was eaten!
Klaus: He was swallowed whole?
Steve: No! Chewed!

Steve: Hey intern, get me a Campari.
Intern #1: On the rocks?

Steve: I dunno, I think that bull-dyke reporter is gonna burn us.
Ned: I don't think she's a lesbian, Dad. She's pregnant.
Steve: Bull dykes can get pregnant. Anyway, I'd back out now, but we need the press.

Steve: I hope you're not gonna bust our chops on this on, Bill.
Bill Ubell: Why would I do that?
Steve: Because you're a bond company stooge.
Bill Ubell: [scoffs] I'm also a human being.
Steve: All right, I take that back. How about a little teamsmanship?

Steve: Look, if you're not against me... don't cross this line. If yes, do. I love you all.
Steve: [Klaus steps forward] Are you sure?
Klaus: Yes, I am.
Steve: I don't understand. Why?
Klaus: What do you mean? Wait a second. What are we doing? You said cross the line if—
Steve: Cross the line if you're going to quit.
Klaus: Oh. Do it again. I misunderstood.

Steve: Ned, how many fingers am I holdin' up?
Ned: I don't know. That's not my job. Too many to tell. How many fingers—
Steve: He's gonna be just fine.

Steve: People say that when someone says something like that, it's because they're jealous. But it still hurts. It hurts bad.
Ned: That man was damn rude. He can go straight to hell.

Steve: That was all off the record, cubbie. That whole deal. Actually, I'm surprised you didn't cross the line yourself.
Jane: What line?
Steve: The line I drew on the deck just now. You weren't up there?
Jane: No.
Steve: You're kidding. That was one of the most dramatic things that's ever happened on this boat. I just lost all my best interns. I thought you were supposed to be covering this story.
Jane: You just said it was all off the record.
Steve: Yeah, but you didn't know that.

Steve: Wait a second. They stole my budget, my boat's broken, you're ditchin' me up the creek. What am I supposed to do here?
Oseary Drakoulias: Well, I must say, nothing's jumping to mind. Phillip, any suggestions? No, he's shaking his head.