Lethal Weapon 2 quotes

View Quote 'm surprised you haven't heard about me, you know, I got a bad reputation, sometimes I just go nuts, like now. [Crazy giggle]

View Quote [While hanging onto the hood of a car] I'd like to see your driver's license and proof of insurance!

View Quote We're back, we're bad. You're black, 'm mad. Let's go!

View Quote 'm a Peeping Tom, Rog, it goes with the badge. And sometimes it's fun, too.

View Quote Don't bother to call the police, 'm here already.

View Quote No, man. I didn't die on your toilet, 'm not gonna die in your arms.

View Quote [While listening to a chase on the radio]
Tim Cavanaugh: Twenty bucks on Riggs and Murtaugh
Cop #2: Who's driving?
Captain Ed Murphy: Murtaugh. In his wife's station wagon.
Cop #2: I'll take that bet!
Tim Cavanaugh: I knew nothing about the wife's station wagon. Bet's off!
Captain Ed Murphy: Hey! Shut up!

View Quote [After freeing himself from a straitjacket by dislocating his shoulder, for the amusement of the other cops]
Martin Riggs: Well if it isn't Mrs. Sigmund Fraud.
Dr. Stephanie Woods: My door is always open.
Martin Riggs: Well, I think we should keep this on a professional level, don't you, Doc?
Dr. Stephanie Woods: Why do you do this to yourself Riggs?
Martin Riggs: Well, who else am I supposed to do it to? [Indicates the other cops] None of them'll let me. Besides, I need the money.

View Quote [To Rianne's boyfriend, George]
Roger Murtaugh: George.
George: Yes sir.
Roger Murtaugh: Home. Out.
George: But sir-
Roger Murtaugh: Geroge. I have a gun.
George: Yes sir. [He leaves.]

View Quote Captain Ed Murphy: I got something special for you boys. A guy by the name of Getz, Leo Getz has been placed in protective custody. And you two guys are gonna babysit him until Washington sends out the feds.
Martin Riggs: How long?
Captain Ed Murphy: Soon as all the red tape is processed. Couple, three days. This guy Getz is gonna testify before a commission of inquiry. Drugs, laundered money, et cetera, et cetera. This is not a shit assignment.
[Riggs starts smoking]
Martin Riggs: Yes, it is.
Captain Ed Murphy: No, it isn't.
Roger Murtaugh: It is.
Captain Ed Murphy: It isn't.
Roger Murtaugh: Captain, it's a shit assignment.
Captain Ed Murphy: Shut up, the both of ya.
[Another cop comes in and hands the Captain a file.]
Captain Ed Murphy: I guaranteed this guy's safety.
Roger Murtaugh: Why us?
Captain Ed Murphy: Because you two are the most qualified for the job. And, after last night, you could use the break.
Roger Murtaugh: I can handle last night.
Martin Riggs: What are we supposed to do with him?
Captain Ed Murphy: How the hell should I know? Take him to Disneyland.
Martin Riggs: Oh, this stinks. This stinks. This stinks!
Captain Ed Murphy: I don't give a ****, Riggs. That's why I don't have an ulcer, because I know when to say, "I don't give a ****." Now here's where he's staying. It's a nice hotel; all the expenses are being picked up by the Justice Dept, so enjoy yourselves. :[They start to leave] And Riggs, one more thing!
Martin Riggs: [Turning back] What?
Captain Ed Murphy: [Tosses him a small 'no smoking' sign.] You know what that says?
Martin Riggs: Yeah, yeah, same thing as that. [Points to the large 'no smoking' sign next to him on the door, smirking.] But I don't give a ****. [Throws the small placard back and walks out.]
Roger Murtaugh: You're lucky. I have to live with that.

View Quote Martin Riggs: Shut up.
Leo Getz: okay, I get it. Bad cop, good cop.
Roger Murtaugh: shut up
Leo Getz: Okay, okay, bad cop, bad cop. I know the routine

View Quote [Murtaugh is on his toilet with a bomb underneath ready blow]
Roger Murtaugh: I'm gonna die on the toilet.
Martin Riggs: Guys like you don't die on toilets.

View Quote Consulate Envoy: What can I do for you today?
Leo Getz: Okay, I have this problem, this very delicate matter. I have a friend of mine, wants to emigrate to South Africa.
Consulate Envoy: Yes, of course. I can certainly help him do that.
Leo Getz: Oh sure. But I want you to talk him out of it.
Consulate Envoy: Talk him out of it?
Leo Getz: Yeah.
Consulate Envoy: Whatever for?
Leo Getz: W-well, you see, this is such a bad time for him to go to South Africa. I mean with all the trouble and everything, okay.
Consulate Envoy: Look, why don't you ask your friend to come back later in the week. We can sit down-
Leo Getz: No, he's here. He's here.
Consulate Envoy: He's here?
Leo Getz: Yeah, he's here now.
Consulate Envoy: Where?
Leo Getz: Alphonse! Alphonse?
[Murtaugh comes around the corner. Cheerfully oblivious]
Roger Murtaugh: How you doing?
Consulate Envoy: [Dumbstruck] I think there must be some mistake.
Roger Murtaugh: Say what?
Consulate Envoy: Sir, listen to your friend, here. He knows what he's talking about. I don't think you want to go to South Africa.
Roger Murtaugh: Why not?
Consulate Envoy: B-Because you're black.
Leo Getz: [To Murtaugh] You are. [To Envoy] He is.

View Quote 'm not a cop tonight, Roger, it's personal. 'm not a cop.

View Quote [Injured, being held by Murtaugh, he hears sirens approaching] Give us a kiss before they come.