Lethal Weapon 2 quotes

View Quote [While hanging onto the hood of a car] I'd like to see your driver's license and proof of insurance!

View Quote We're back, we're bad. You're black, 'm mad. Let's go!

View Quote 'm a Peeping Tom, Rog, it goes with the badge. And sometimes it's fun, too.

View Quote Don't bother to call the police, 'm here already.

View Quote 'm surprised you haven't heard about me, you know, I got a bad reputation, sometimes I just go nuts, like now. [Crazy giggle]

View Quote No, man. I didn't die on your toilet, 'm not gonna die in your arms.

View Quote [While listening to a chase on the radio]
Tim Cavanaugh: Twenty bucks on Riggs and Murtaugh
Cop #2: Who's driving?
Captain Ed Murphy: Murtaugh. In his wife's station wagon.
Cop #2: I'll take that bet!
Tim Cavanaugh: I knew nothing about the wife's station wagon. Bet's off!
Captain Ed Murphy: Hey! Shut up!

View Quote [After freeing himself from a straitjacket by dislocating his shoulder, for the amusement of the other cops]
Martin Riggs: Well if it isn't Mrs. Sigmund Fraud.
Dr. Stephanie Woods: My door is always open.
Martin Riggs: Well, I think we should keep this on a professional level, don't you, Doc?
Dr. Stephanie Woods: Why do you do this to yourself Riggs?
Martin Riggs: Well, who else am I supposed to do it to? [Indicates the other cops] None of them'll let me. Besides, I need the money.

View Quote [To Rianne's boyfriend, George]
Roger Murtaugh: George.
George: Yes sir.
Roger Murtaugh: Home. Out.
George: But sir-
Roger Murtaugh: Geroge. I have a gun.
George: Yes sir. [He leaves.]

View Quote Captain Ed Murphy: I got something special for you boys. A guy by the name of Getz, Leo Getz has been placed in protective custody. And you two guys are gonna babysit him until Washington sends out the feds.
Martin Riggs: How long?
Captain Ed Murphy: Soon as all the red tape is processed. Couple, three days. This guy Getz is gonna testify before a commission of inquiry. Drugs, laundered money, et cetera, et cetera. This is not a shit assignment.
[Riggs starts smoking]
Martin Riggs: Yes, it is.
Captain Ed Murphy: No, it isn't.
Roger Murtaugh: It is.
Captain Ed Murphy: It isn't.
Roger Murtaugh: Captain, it's a shit assignment.
Captain Ed Murphy: Shut up, the both of ya.
[Another cop comes in and hands the Captain a file.]
Captain Ed Murphy: I guaranteed this guy's safety.
Roger Murtaugh: Why us?
Captain Ed Murphy: Because you two are the most qualified for the job. And, after last night, you could use the break.
Roger Murtaugh: I can handle last night.
Martin Riggs: What are we supposed to do with him?
Captain Ed Murphy: How the hell should I know? Take him to Disneyland.
Martin Riggs: Oh, this stinks. This stinks. This stinks!
Captain Ed Murphy: I don't give a ****, Riggs. That's why I don't have an ulcer, because I know when to say, "I don't give a ****." Now here's where he's staying. It's a nice hotel; all the expenses are being picked up by the Justice Dept, so enjoy yourselves. :[They start to leave] And Riggs, one more thing!
Martin Riggs: [Turning back] What?
Captain Ed Murphy: [Tosses him a small 'no smoking' sign.] You know what that says?
Martin Riggs: Yeah, yeah, same thing as that. [Points to the large 'no smoking' sign next to him on the door, smirking.] But I don't give a ****. [Throws the small placard back and walks out.]
Roger Murtaugh: You're lucky. I have to live with that.

View Quote Martin Riggs: Shut up.
Leo Getz: okay, I get it. Bad cop, good cop.
Roger Murtaugh: shut up
Leo Getz: Okay, okay, bad cop, bad cop. I know the routine

View Quote [Murtaugh is on his toilet with a bomb underneath ready blow]
Roger Murtaugh: I'm gonna die on the toilet.
Martin Riggs: Guys like you don't die on toilets.

View Quote Consulate Envoy: What can I do for you today?
Leo Getz: Okay, I have this problem, this very delicate matter. I have a friend of mine, wants to emigrate to South Africa.
Consulate Envoy: Yes, of course. I can certainly help him do that.
Leo Getz: Oh sure. But I want you to talk him out of it.
Consulate Envoy: Talk him out of it?
Leo Getz: Yeah.
Consulate Envoy: Whatever for?
Leo Getz: W-well, you see, this is such a bad time for him to go to South Africa. I mean with all the trouble and everything, okay.
Consulate Envoy: Look, why don't you ask your friend to come back later in the week. We can sit down-
Leo Getz: No, he's here. He's here.
Consulate Envoy: He's here?
Leo Getz: Yeah, he's here now.
Consulate Envoy: Where?
Leo Getz: Alphonse! Alphonse?
[Murtaugh comes around the corner. Cheerfully oblivious]
Roger Murtaugh: How you doing?
Consulate Envoy: [Dumbstruck] I think there must be some mistake.
Roger Murtaugh: Say what?
Consulate Envoy: Sir, listen to your friend, here. He knows what he's talking about. I don't think you want to go to South Africa.
Roger Murtaugh: Why not?
Consulate Envoy: B-Because you're black.
Leo Getz: [To Murtaugh] You are. [To Envoy] He is.

View Quote 'm not a cop tonight, Roger, it's personal. 'm not a cop.

View Quote [Injured, being held by Murtaugh, he hears sirens approaching] Give us a kiss before they come.