Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events quotes

41 total quotes (ID: 787)

Count Olaf
Klaus Baudelaire
Lemony Snicket
Violet Baudelaire


I'm sorry... I don't speak monkeyish.


And just like that, the Baudelaire Children became the Baudelaire Orphans. I tried to tell you. This would be an excellent opportunity to walk out of the theater, living room or airplane this film is showing in. It's not too late to see a film about a happy little elf.

What do you think? Too diabolical? Give me some feedback!

Everything happens for a reason.

This... is a little piece I like to call "The Electric Chair". (Sits in a chair. Everybody stares at him, while nothing happens. In a country/redneck accent) I think ya' might have t' turn it up a little! (slight pause) Is anybody...OOUUTT TTHHEERREE!!! DAAAAAAHHHHHHH! AHHHHHH!

Now, now. Let's keep our heads here. If you do anything to me, you're just sinking to my level. Not to mention setting a terrible example for the children.

Violet, I think you better tie up your hair...

[During marriage scene during Count Olaf's play]
Critic: She doesn't deserve him. (blots eyes)
Detective: (in agreement, shakes head)No.
Critic: Are you thinking that?
Detective: She doesn't.

These things don't just happen.

You are so deceased!

The Detective: (to Violet) Little girl, the big cage door is open. No snake. Dead guy. You know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking who woke me up at nine in the morning for this?