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Uncle Monty: I had a wife, and children...before the fire...
Klaus: A fire?
Uncle Monty: I may know better than anyone what you're going through. But it's gonna be alright. We'll be with people who can understand us, people who are like us, people who can appreciate unique and wonderful children who can invent and read and...bite things.
Violet: Uncle Monty...why are you doing all this?
Uncle Monty: [Shrugs] Isn't that what family does?
Lemony Snicket: "And so, the Baudelaire children went to Peru, and together had wonderful adventures under the care of their wonderful and loving new guardian. The End." These are the words I so desparately wish I could write. Oh, I would give anything to say the story ends here. However, my duty is not to weave up happy endings where they do not occur, but report the actual events in the lives of the Baudelaire children. And much as it pains me, I am sorry to say the children's problems were just beginning and it did so with two musical notes.
[Doorbell rings]


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