Legally Blonde quotes
25 total quotes
View Quote
Warner: Elle, if I'm gonna be a senator by the time I'm 30, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn.
Elle: So, you're breaking up with me because I'm too... blonde?
Warner: No, that's not entirely true—
Elle: Then what? My boobs are too big?
[Everyone in the restaurant hears this and turns to their table]
Warner: [whispers] Your boobs are fine.
Elle: So, you're breaking up with me because I'm too... blonde?
Warner: No, that's not entirely true—
Elle: Then what? My boobs are too big?
[Everyone in the restaurant hears this and turns to their table]
Warner: [whispers] Your boobs are fine.
View Quote
Warner Huntington III: Pooh Bear, just get in the car.
Elle: No. [starts walking away, sniffling]
Warner Huntington III: You're gonna ruin your shoes.
Elle: [defeated] Okay. [gets in car]
Elle: No. [starts walking away, sniffling]
Warner Huntington III: You're gonna ruin your shoes.
Elle: [defeated] Okay. [gets in car]
View Quote
[Elle is looking at a magazine and sees a picture of Warner's older brother and his fiancée]
Elle: Oh, my God! Do you know who this is?
Old Lady: No.
Elle: That’s Warner's older brother.
Old Lady: Who?
[Elle reads article about Warner's brother and his fiancée]
Elle: This is the type of girl Warner wants to marry. This is what I need to become to be serious.
Old Lady: What? Practically deformed?
Elle: No... a law student.
Elle: Oh, my God! Do you know who this is?
Old Lady: No.
Elle: That’s Warner's older brother.
Old Lady: Who?
[Elle reads article about Warner's brother and his fiancée]
Elle: This is the type of girl Warner wants to marry. This is what I need to become to be serious.
Old Lady: What? Practically deformed?
Elle: No... a law student.
View Quote
Margot: You'll need this.
Elle: Your scrunchie?
Margot: My lucky scrunchie. It helped me pass Spanish.
Serena: You passed Spanish because you gave Professor Montoya a lap-dance after the final.
Margot: Yeah – luckily.
Elle: Your scrunchie?
Margot: My lucky scrunchie. It helped me pass Spanish.
Serena: You passed Spanish because you gave Professor Montoya a lap-dance after the final.
Margot: Yeah – luckily.
View Quote
Elle: I don't need back-ups. I'm going to Harvard.
C.U.L.A. Adviser: Well, then, you'll need excellent recommendations from your professors.
Elle: Okay.
C.U.L.A. Adviser: And a heck of an admissions essay.
Elle: Right.
C.U.L.A. Adviser: And at least a 175 on your LSATs.
Elle: I once had to judge a tighty-whitey contest for Lambda Kappa Pi. Trust me; I can handle anything.
C.U.L.A. Adviser: Well, then, you'll need excellent recommendations from your professors.
Elle: Okay.
C.U.L.A. Adviser: And a heck of an admissions essay.
Elle: Right.
C.U.L.A. Adviser: And at least a 175 on your LSATs.
Elle: I once had to judge a tighty-whitey contest for Lambda Kappa Pi. Trust me; I can handle anything.
View Quote
Elle: I'm reading about the LSATs.
Serena: My cousin had that once. Apparently you get a really bad rash on your....
Serena: My cousin had that once. Apparently you get a really bad rash on your....
View Quote
[Elle is presiding at her sorority meeting]
Elle: It has come to my attention that the maintenance staff is switching our toilet paper from Charmin.... to generic! All those opposed to chafing, please say "Aye".
Entire Sorority Group: Aye.
Elle: It has come to my attention that the maintenance staff is switching our toilet paper from Charmin.... to generic! All those opposed to chafing, please say "Aye".
Entire Sorority Group: Aye.
View Quote
Elle: So, if you don't know an answer, they're just gonna kick you out?
Emmett: So, you have Stromwell, huh?
Elle: Yes. Did she do that to you, too?
Emmett: No, but she did make me cry once.... not in class — I waited until I got back to my room, but yeah, she'll kick you right in the balls.... or wherever.
Emmett: So, you have Stromwell, huh?
Elle: Yes. Did she do that to you, too?
Emmett: No, but she did make me cry once.... not in class — I waited until I got back to my room, but yeah, she'll kick you right in the balls.... or wherever.
View Quote
Professor Callahan: Would you rather have a client who committed a crime malum in se or malum prohibitum?
Elle: Neither.
Professor Callahan: And why's that?
Elle: I would rather have a client who's innocent.
Professor Callahan: Dare to dream, Miss Woods. Miss Kensington, which would you prefer?
Vivian: Malum prohibitum, because then the client would have committed a regulatory infraction as opposed to a dangerous crime.
Professor Callahan: Well done, Miss Kensington. It's obvious you've done your homework. Now, let's look at malum prohibitum a little more closely. It has been said-- [Elle raises her hand] Yes, Miss Woods?
Elle: I changed my mind. I'll take the dangerous one, because I'm not afraid of a challenge.
Elle: Neither.
Professor Callahan: And why's that?
Elle: I would rather have a client who's innocent.
Professor Callahan: Dare to dream, Miss Woods. Miss Kensington, which would you prefer?
Vivian: Malum prohibitum, because then the client would have committed a regulatory infraction as opposed to a dangerous crime.
Professor Callahan: Well done, Miss Kensington. It's obvious you've done your homework. Now, let's look at malum prohibitum a little more closely. It has been said-- [Elle raises her hand] Yes, Miss Woods?
Elle: I changed my mind. I'll take the dangerous one, because I'm not afraid of a challenge.
View Quote
Vivian: Nice costume.
Elle: You, too. Except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.
Elle: You, too. Except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.
View Quote
(In the checkout line at an electronics store, Emmett encounters Elle, dressed in a Playboy bunny suit, waiting to buy a laptop.)
Emmett: (clears throat)
Elle: Don't ask.
Emmett: Wasn't gonna.
Emmett: (clears throat)
Elle: Don't ask.
Emmett: Wasn't gonna.
View Quote
David: I called your room last night; I was wondering if we could go out some time.
Girl: No.
David: Why?
Girl: Because you're a dork. Girls like me don't go out with guys like you.
Elle: Excuse me. [turns around and slaps David] Why didn't you call me? We spent a beautiful night together, and I haven't heard from you since.
David: [pause] I'm sorry?
Elle: Sorry for what? For breaking my heart, or for giving me the greatest pleasure I've ever known and just taking it away?
David: Both?
Elle: Well, forget it. I've spent too much time crying over you.
Girl: [after Elle has walked off] So, when did you wanna go out?
Girl: No.
David: Why?
Girl: Because you're a dork. Girls like me don't go out with guys like you.
Elle: Excuse me. [turns around and slaps David] Why didn't you call me? We spent a beautiful night together, and I haven't heard from you since.
David: [pause] I'm sorry?
Elle: Sorry for what? For breaking my heart, or for giving me the greatest pleasure I've ever known and just taking it away?
David: Both?
Elle: Well, forget it. I've spent too much time crying over you.
Girl: [after Elle has walked off] So, when did you wanna go out?
View Quote
Elle: Oh, Warner, do you remember when we spent those four amazing hours in the hot tub together after winter formal?
Warner Huntington III: Uh, yeah.... [Vivian gives him an evil look] no.
Elle: Well, this is so much better than that! Excuse me; I have some shopping to do.
Vivian: Four hours, huh?
Warner Huntington III: Uh, yeah.... [Vivian gives him an evil look] no.
Elle: Well, this is so much better than that! Excuse me; I have some shopping to do.
Vivian: Four hours, huh?
View Quote
Elle: Did you see him? He's probably still scratching his head.
Paulette: Yeah, which must be a nice vacation for his balls.
Paulette: Yeah, which must be a nice vacation for his balls.