Knocked Up quotes
78 total quotesJason
Jay
Jonah
Martin
Pete
View Quote
Ben:I assumed you were wearing a patch, or like a, like a dental dam, or one of those ****in' butterfly clips or something--
Alison: What? What the hell is a dental dam?
Ben: It's like saran wrap, it's disgusting, but I thought you had one!
Alison: What? What the hell is a dental dam?
Ben: It's like saran wrap, it's disgusting, but I thought you had one!
View Quote
Debbie: I gotta go, Sadie might have the chicken pox.
Jason: I had the chicken pox THREE times. I have no immunity to it.
Ben: We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes.
Jason: It's not herpes if it's everywhere.
Jason: I had the chicken pox THREE times. I have no immunity to it.
Ben: We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes.
Jason: It's not herpes if it's everywhere.
View Quote
Alison: I'm pregnant.
Ben: **** off!
Alison: What?
Ben: What?
Alison: I'm pregnant.
Ben: Pregnant... with emotion?
Alison: Pregnant with a baby.
Ben: **** off!
Alison: What?
Ben: What?
Alison: I'm pregnant.
Ben: Pregnant... with emotion?
Alison: Pregnant with a baby.
View Quote
Ben Stone: [Ben knocks on the door at Sadie's birthday party and Sadie answers] Hey! What up dogg?
Sadie: Where have you been?
Ben Stone: Oh, you know... Around.
Sadie: Why is everyone so mad at you?
Ben Stone: They are? What are they saying?
Sadie: Oh, you know. Blah, blah, blah. Ben's a prick. What's that mean?
Ben Stone: Penis. It means penis.
Sadie: Penis. [Sadie nods her head and then giggles]
Sadie: Where have you been?
Ben Stone: Oh, you know... Around.
Sadie: Why is everyone so mad at you?
Ben Stone: They are? What are they saying?
Sadie: Oh, you know. Blah, blah, blah. Ben's a prick. What's that mean?
Ben Stone: Penis. It means penis.
Sadie: Penis. [Sadie nods her head and then giggles]
View Quote
Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles.
View Quote
You don't know who Doc Brown is? He invented the DeLorean.
View Quote
You are a funny mother****er man. Jesus, how can you fight with him? Look at his face, I just want to kiss it.
View Quote
If any of us get laid tonight, it's because of Eric Bana in "Munich."
View Quote
It cures everything. My buddy Jonah broke his elbow one time. He just got high. It still clicks, but it's cool.
View Quote
Steely Dan can gargle my balls.
View Quote
(with a gas mask with an attached bong to his face) I am your stoner!
View Quote
That my friend, is how you get pink eye.
View Quote
(In Alison's bed) **** off, Martin!
View Quote
I'll see you later. (to Alison at the first bar encounter) No I won't, 'cause I'm a pussy.
View Quote
You haven't had to sacrifice anything! I've had to sacrifice my job, my body, my youth, my vagina.