Knocked Up

Knocked Up quotes

78 total quotes (ID: 324)

Allison Scott
Ben Stone
Debbie
Doorman
Fantasy Baseball Guy
Jason
Jay
Jonah
Martin
Pete


Ben:I assumed you were wearing a patch, or like a, like a dental dam, or one of those ****in' butterfly clips or something--
Alison: What? What the hell is a dental dam?
Ben: It's like saran wrap, it's disgusting, but I thought you had one!


Debbie: I gotta go, Sadie might have the chicken pox.
Jason: I had the chicken pox THREE times. I have no immunity to it.
Ben: We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes.
Jason: It's not herpes if it's everywhere.

Alison: I'm pregnant.
Ben: **** off!
Alison: What?
Ben: What?
Alison: I'm pregnant.
Ben: Pregnant... with emotion?
Alison: Pregnant with a baby.

Ben Stone: [Ben knocks on the door at Sadie's birthday party and Sadie answers] Hey! What up dogg?
Sadie: Where have you been?
Ben Stone: Oh, you know... Around.
Sadie: Why is everyone so mad at you?
Ben Stone: They are? What are they saying?
Sadie: Oh, you know. Blah, blah, blah. Ben's a prick. What's that mean?
Ben Stone: Penis. It means penis.
Sadie: Penis. [Sadie nods her head and then giggles]

Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles.

You don't know who Doc Brown is? He invented the DeLorean.

You are a funny mother****er man. Jesus, how can you fight with him? Look at his face, I just want to kiss it.

If any of us get laid tonight, it's because of Eric Bana in "Munich."

It cures everything. My buddy Jonah broke his elbow one time. He just got high. It still clicks, but it's cool.

Steely Dan can gargle my balls.

(with a gas mask with an attached bong to his face) I am your stoner!

That my friend, is how you get pink eye.

(In Alison's bed) **** off, Martin!

I'll see you later. (to Alison at the first bar encounter) No I won't, 'cause I'm a pussy.

You haven't had to sacrifice anything! I've had to sacrifice my job, my body, my youth, my vagina.