ALL A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Knocked Up

Knocked Up quotes

78 total quotes

Allison Scott
Ben Stone
Debbie
Doorman
Fantasy Baseball Guy
Jason
Jay
Jonah
Martin
Pete




View Quote "Great, give me that line".
View Quote (After Jay has announced that he has shaved his pubic area) What the ****, man?! If I go in there and see ****ing pubes sprinkled all over the toilet seat, I'm gonna ****ing lose my mind! Last time I went to the bathroom, Jay, I took a shit and my shit looked like a ****ing stuffed animal!
View Quote (ordering beer) "You can't get service, what am I gonna do?"
View Quote Alison: BOOBS! BOOBS and BUSH!
Ben: Alriiight, credit bush! That's the best, we're not even five minutes in.
View Quote Alison: I'm pregnant.
Ben: **** off!
Alison: What?
Ben: What?
Alison: I'm pregnant.
Ben: Pregnant... with emotion?
Alison: Pregnant with a baby.
View Quote Alison: I'm sorry I told you to **** your bong.
Ben: It's okay... I didn't...
View Quote Alison: What if this was our second date, what would we do?
Ben: BJ?
View Quote Ben Stone: [Ben knocks on the door at Sadie's birthday party and Sadie answers] Hey! What up dogg?
Sadie: Where have you been?
Ben Stone: Oh, you know... Around.
Sadie: Why is everyone so mad at you?
Ben Stone: They are? What are they saying?
Sadie: Oh, you know. Blah, blah, blah. Ben's a prick. What's that mean?
Ben Stone: Penis. It means penis.
Sadie: Penis. [Sadie nods her head and then giggles]
View Quote Ben: Do you want to do it doggie style?
Alison: No I do not want you to **** me like a dog.
Ben: It's doggie style. It's just in the style. We don't have to go outside or anything.
View Quote Ben: Our baby is going to be French Canadian.
Alison: And a little bit Spanish...?
Ben: Yeah, I'm not very good with impressions.
View Quote Ben:I assumed you were wearing a patch, or like a, like a dental dam, or one of those ****in' butterfly clips or something--
Alison: What? What the hell is a dental dam?
Ben: It's like saran wrap, it's disgusting, but I thought you had one!
View Quote Debbie: (crying) I like Spiderman!
Pete: Okay, then let's go see Spiderman 3 next week.
Debbie: I don't wanna see Spiderman! I don't want to have to ask you to ask me!! I want you to think of it yourself!
Pete: Look, I don't even know what I'm supposed to say to you.
Debbie: You think that just because you don't yell, you're not mean?! This is mean!!
View Quote Debbie: Hey, I have a great idea. Why don't the two of you go into your time machines and go back in time and **** each other?
Pete: Who needs a time machine?
Ben: [Holds up a glass of liquor] This is my time machine man.
Pete: I'm gonna throw you into my De Lorean, gun it to 88!
View Quote Debbie: I gotta go, Sadie might have the chicken pox.
Jason: I had the chicken pox THREE times. I have no immunity to it.
Ben: We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes.
Jason: It's not herpes if it's everywhere.
View Quote Debbie: Look, here are all the sex offenders in our neighborhood.
Pete: Looks like your computer has chicken pox.
Debbie: These are SEX OFFENDERS. They live in our NEIGHBORHOOD.
Pete: Well, we'll skip their houses when we go trick-or-treating. What do you want me to do? Form a posse? (to Ben) I got my six shooter. Ya got your lynchin' rope?
Debbie: If I didn't care about these things, you wouldn't care about anything. Care more.