Juno

Juno quotes

89 total quotes (ID: 307)

Bren MacGuff
Juno MacGuff
Mac MacGuff
Multiple Characters


Someone else is gonna find a precious blessing from Jesus in this garbage dump of a situation.


Juno: So have you and Vanessa thought of a name for the baby yet?
Mark: Well, sort of. Vanessa likes Madison for a girl.
Juno: [aghast] Madison? Isn't that kind of... I don't know, gay?

Juno: Well, I'm sorry I had sex with you. I know it wasn’t your idea.
Paulie: Whose idea was it?
Juno: I'll see you at school, okay? [mounts her bicycle and rides off]
Paulie: [to no one in particular] Whose idea was it?

My axe is named Roosevelt. After Franklin, not Ted. Franklin was the hot one with the polio.

That's my stepmom, Bren. She's completely obsessed with dogs, owns a nail salon, and always smells like methyl methacrylate.

When I see them all running like that, with their things bouncing around in their shorts, I always picture them naked, even if I don't want to. All I see are pork swords.

In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty... handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.

Juno: Wow your shorts are like, especially gold today.
Paulie: My mom uses color-safe bleach.
Juno: Go Carol.
Paulie: I'll tell her.

Leah: All right, how about this one? "Healthy, educated couple seeking infant to join our family of five. You will be compensated. Help us complete the circle of love."
Juno: Yeesh, they sound like a cult, is what the sound like! And besides they already have three kids. They're just like greedy little bitches!

Paulie: I still have your underwear.
Juno: I still have your virginity.
Paulie: [exasperated] Would you shut up?

Leah: Yo yo yiggidy yo.
Juno: I'm a suicide risk.
Leah: Juno?
Juno: No, it's Morgan Freeman, do you have any bones that need collecting?
Leah: Only the one in my pants, haha.

Hold on — I'm on my hamburger phone.

I don't know, I just wanted something a little more edgier. I was thinking more like graphic designer, mid-thirties, you know? With a cool Asian girlfriend, who, like dresses awesome and rocks out on the bass guitar. But I don't want to be too particular.

Juno: Ow, ow, ****ity-ow! Bren, when do I get that spinal tap thing?
Bren: It's called a spinal block, and you can't have it yet, honey. The doctor said you're not dilated enough.
Juno: You mean I have to wait for it to get worse! Why can't they just give it to me now?
Bren:: Well, honey, doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream.

Juno: I think I'm in love with you.
Paulie: You mean as friends?
Juno: No, I mean, like, for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met — and you don't even have to try, you know...
Paulie: I try really hard, actually.
[...]
Paulie: Can we make out now?
Juno: Yeah. [kisses him]