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Juno

Juno quotes

89 total quotes

Bren MacGuff
Juno MacGuff
Mac MacGuff
Multiple Characters




View Quote Su-Chin: [protesting outside the abortion clinic] All babies want to get borned! All babies want to get borned!
View Quote Rollo: You better pay for that pee-stick when you're done with it. Don't think it's yours just because you marked it with your urine!
View Quote Leah: [at Juno’s ultrasound test] Dude, that thing looks freaky.
Juno: Hey, I am a sacred vessel; all you've got in your stomach is Taco Bell.
View Quote Leah:[reading] "Wholesome, spiritually wealthy couple have found true love with each other." Aw... all that's missing is your bastard!
View Quote Leah: [seeing Juno and Paulie kissing] You know, you can go into early labor sucking face like that! [Juno gives her the finger]
View Quote Juno: Well, I'm sorry I had sex with you. I know it wasn’t your idea.
Paulie: Whose idea was it?
Juno: I'll see you at school, okay? [mounts her bicycle and rides off]
Paulie: [to no one in particular] Whose idea was it?
View Quote Vijay: I'm gonna stop wearing underwear. Raise my sperm count.
View Quote Gerta Rauss: ...So, we all agree that a closed adoption is the best decision for all involved?
Juno: SSSHHIT! YES! Close it up!
View Quote Su-Chin: [Seeing Juno running out of the clinic] God appreciates your miracle!
View Quote When I see them all running like that, with their things bouncing around in their shorts, I always picture them naked, even if I don't want to. All I see are pork swords.
View Quote Mac: And this, of course, is Juno.
Mark: Like the city in Alaska.
Juno: No.
Mark: No? [pause] Shall we sit down and get to know one another?
Vanessa: Oh, I thought I would get some drinks. What would anyone like? I have Pellegrino, or Vitamin Water or Orange Juice or...
Juno: I'll have a Maker's Mark. Up.
Mac: She's kidding. Junebug has a wonderful sense of humor. Just one of her many genetic gifts.
View Quote [to a barking dog] Jeez, Bananas, shut your freakin' gob, OK?
View Quote Juno: I think I'm in love with you.
Paulie: You mean as friends?
Juno: No, I mean, like, for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met — and you don't even have to try, you know...
Paulie: I try really hard, actually.
[...]
Paulie: Can we make out now?
Juno: Yeah. [kisses him]
View Quote Leah: All right, how about this one? "Healthy, educated couple seeking infant to join our family of five. You will be compensated. Help us complete the circle of love."
Juno: Yeesh, they sound like a cult, is what the sound like! And besides they already have three kids. They're just like greedy little bitches!
View Quote Vanessa: You think you're really going to do this?
Juno: Yeah, I like you guys. If I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I'm guessing it looks probably like a sea monkey right now and we should let it get a little cuter.