Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back quotes

126 total quotes

Ben Affleck
Brent
Brodie
Chaka Luther King
Chrissy
Cock-Knocker
Dante Hicks
Holden

Jay
Randal Graves
Reg Hartner
Scooby Doo
Sheriff
Sissy
Whillenholly
Willam Black

View Quote [Justice and Sissy are engaged in a fist-fight]
Sissy: Your shit is really getting tired, Justice.
Justice: Call me 'Boo-Boo-Kitty-****', bitch.

View Quote [regarding the Bluntman and Chronic movie]
Randal Graves: That was definitely worse than "Clash of the Titans."
Dante Hicks: I can't believe Judi Dench played me.
Randal Graves: Remind me to renew that restraining order.
Dante Hicks: Why?
Randal Graves: Because I'm going to blast that flick on the internet tonight.

View Quote [several security guards, led by Gordon, have suddenly rushed onto the set of Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season]
Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: Sorry to interrupt sirs, but we've got a 10-07 on our hands.
Matt Damon: [exasperated] Oh Jesus, again Ben?
Ben Affleck: [****y] No, bullshit, because I wasn't WITH a hooker today, ha-HA!
Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: There they are!
Jay: Affleck, you the bomb in "Phantoms", yo!

View Quote [to Jay]
Brent: What's your damage, little boy? You've got a sick and twisted world perspective.

View Quote [Walt and Steve-Dave leave the premiere of Bluntman & Chronic]
Steve-Dave Pulasti: Why can't Hollywood make a decent comic book movie?
Walt "Fanboy" Grover: Tell 'em Steve-Dave.
Steve-Dave Pulasti: Would you stop saying that?

View Quote [Willenholly and the Utah police confront Jay and Silent Bob]
Sheriff: Are you ****ing crazy? Now they may be gay, but that's not their son. That's the ape.
Whillenholly: I think I would recognize an ape if I saw one, okay? And the only thing I do recognize right now is the political fiasco I'm about to avoid here by letting this butt-****ing Brady Bunch go.

View Quote [after pulling a very long pube out of his teeth] Eew, man, she had '70s bush. Damn second rule in that book should be: "Trim that shit".

View Quote [Chrissy breaks wind loudly in the diamond vault, causing the alarms to go off] Holy ****! The little stoner was right!

View Quote [clears throat] And I'll be, like, "What, you don't know ****in' Jay and Silent Bob? The ****in' mack daddys of ****in' Jersey?" And she'll be, like, "Oh, I've read on the Internet that youse guys are a couple of little [emphatically to Silent Bob] ****holes!" [both laugh]

View Quote [Silent Bob gets stuck in an open sewer pipe] Just like Winnie the Pooh.

View Quote [singing outside the Stop N Go] I'm gonna finger-bang her tight little asshole / Finger-bang and tea-bag my balls / Where, where, in her mouth / Balls a-plenty in her mouth / Balls Balls Sweaty Balls

View Quote [singing] I can't believe I'm gonna get some pussy for stealin' the monkey. [laughs] Stealin' the little monkey. Man, if I woulda known that, I would have been stealin' monkeys since I was like, seven and shit.

View Quote [staring up at the Bluntman and Chronic marquee] That's beautiful, man.

View Quote [the Scooby gang are arguing amongst themselves] Yo. You guys need to turn those frowns upside down. And I got just the thing for that. [pulls out a bag of rolled up joints] We call them Doobie Snax.

View Quote [to Silent Bob] I said you LOVE the ****. I must be the craftiest mother****er alive.