Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back quotes

128 total quotes (ID: 300)

Ben Affleck
Brent
Brodie
Chaka Luther King
Chrissy
Cock-Knocker
Dante Hicks
Holden
Jay
Randal Graves
Reg Hartner
Scooby Doo
Sheriff
Sissy
Whillenholly
Willam Black


Jay: Miramax? I thought they only did classy pictures, like "The Piano" and "The Crying Game".
Brodie: Yeah, but then they made "She's All That" and it went downhill from there.


Jay: So all we's gotta do is stop this ****in' movie from getting made!
Holden: Yeah, and forego the hundreds of thousands of dollars you would be entitled to in the process. What are you, ****ing retarded? I mean, I don't think I'm alone in the world in imagining this flick may be the worst idea since Greedo shooting first. You know it, but... a Jay and Silent Bob movie? Feature length? Who'd pay to see that?
[Holden, Jay, and Bob look into the camera]

Jay: So, you think I could get a little kiss for good luck?
[Justice kisses him passionately]
Jay: Think I could get a little blow job for good luck?
Justice: No. Go.
Jay: ****.
[Silent Bob tries to get a good luck of his own]
Jay: Get off my Kool-Aid mother****a!

Jay: What's twistin' this bitches tit?
Justice: Maybe it's because girls don't like to be called bitches, Jay.
Jay: They don't? How 'bout fine piece of ass?
Justice: How 'bout not.
Jay: Then what the **** am I supposed to call you?
Justice: Something sweet, ya big goof. Something nice.
Jay:...Boo Boo Kitty ****?
Justice: That's... a start.

Justice: Hi, I'm Justice.
Jay: And I'm so ****ing yours.
[Justice is almost repulsed when Jay makes a quick save]
Jay: Oh, Hi, I'm Jay and this is my hetero-life-mate, Silent Bob.
Justice: It's nice to meet you.
Jay: Justice, that's a nice name...
[aside]
Jay: Jay and Justice sitting in a tree, F-U-C-K-I-N-G...

Justice: If I go to prison will you wait for me?
Jay: Hmm, I don't know. Will you **** me when you get out?
[Justice kisses him passionately]
Jay: Don't change the subject. Will you **** me when you get out?
Justice: Snoogans.
[Goes back to kissing Jay]

Justice: They didn't really steal the monkey. It was just a diversion so we could steal these.
[showing a bag of stolen diamonds]
Justice: And they're not the leaders of the C.L.I.T. The C.L.I.T is not real.
Whillenholly: No the clit is real. Its the female orgasm that's the myth.

Justice: Wait for me.
Jay: What, here?

Matt Damon: Just take it from "It's a good course."
Ben Affleck: Oh, now you're the director.
Matt Damon: Hey shove it, Bounce-boy. Let's remember who talked who into doing this shit in the first place. Talking me into Dogma was one thing, but this...
Ben Affleck: Hey look, I'm sorry I dragged you away from whatever-gay-serial-killers-who-ride-horses-and-like-to-play-golf-touchy-feely-picture you're supposed to be doing this week.
Matt Damon: I take it you haven't seen Forces of Nature?
Ben Affleck: You're like a child. What've I been telling you? You gotta do the safe picture. Then you can do the art picture. But then sometimes you gotta do the payback picture because your friend says you owe him.
[They both take a beat and look at the camera]
Ben Affleck: And sometimes, you have to go back to the well.
Matt Damon: And sometimes, you do Reindeer Games.
Ben Affleck: See, that's just mean.

Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: Brenda?
Shannen Doherty: Dick!

Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: Echo Base, I've got a 10-07: two unauthorized on the lot, requesting backup.
Echo Base: [over Gordon's walkie talkie] I thought that was a 10-82.
Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: No sir, a 10-82 is disappearing a dead hooker from Ben Affleck's trailer.
Echo Base: [slightly amused] Oh, that Affleck! Backup on the way...

Missy: Oh my god, he just called Sissy 'Juggs'.
Chrissy: I'm on it.
[pulls out knife]
Jay: What's with the knife, we havin' cake or something?
Chrissy: Great, he's retarded to boot.
Jay: [to Silent Bob] Dude, she called you retarded.

Shannen Doherty: ****ing Miramax! Cut!
Wes Craven: Shannen, I usually say cut.
Shannen Doherty: A monkey? Wes? Jesus, you're not even trying anymore are you?
Wes Craven: The Market research says that people love monkeys.
[Jay and Silent Bob run in and grab the monkey]
Jay: WE LOVE THIS MONKEY!
[to a crew member]
Jay: Do something!
Wes Craven: See?

Silent Bob's Mother: Bobby Boy, stay here while mommy picks up the free cheese, kay? Here, this will keep the sun out of your eyes.
[puts a baseball cap on his head backwards]
Silent Bob's Mother: You be good, now.
[walks in store, then Jay and his Mom arrive]
Jay's Mother: Alright, don't you ****in' move you little shit machine. Your Momma's going to try to score.
Passerby: What the hell? 'Scuse me. Who's watchin these babies?
Jay's Mother: Uh - the fat one's watchin the little one?
Passerby: Oh yeah, nice parenting. Leave 'em out here like that and see what happens.
Jay's Mother: YO, **** YOU, YOU ****ING SQUARE! Can you believe that ****ing guy telling me how to ****ing raise you? Mother****er, man. Who's he ****ing think he is, doing that outside the ****ing store, right? ****!

Steve Kmetko: Rumor is Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are working on a super secret project on the lot. Have you seen them roaming around?
Jules Asner: No, Steve. But I did see Casey Affleck buying a soda from a concession stand.