Inventing the Abbotts quotes
33 total quotesMajor cast
View Quote
[Jacey talks about Doug's artificial sideburns.]
Jacey Holt: You look like a clown. He looks like a clown, mom, and he doesn't even know it. I thought you weren't going to the party.
Doug Holt: I changed my mind.
Helen Holt: Doug, you do realize that you maybe the only person in this party with artificial sideburns.
Jacey Holt: You look like a clown. He looks like a clown, mom, and he doesn't even know it. I thought you weren't going to the party.
Doug Holt: I changed my mind.
Helen Holt: Doug, you do realize that you maybe the only person in this party with artificial sideburns.
View Quote
Lloyd Abbott: That bet was your father's idea. And I never meant your mother any harm. I would have done anything for her, anything. I loved her. So, what do you want?
Doug Holt: I want to find Pam. I want you to tell me where she is.
Doug Holt: I want to find Pam. I want you to tell me where she is.
View Quote
Pamela Abbott: Stop treating me like an Abbott!
Doug Holt: How the hell am I supposed to treat you?
Pamela Abbott: Like you used to; like just plain Pam. And you don't have to say that you're sorry! And don't look at me as though someone just ran over you dog! It's make me want to scream sometimes.
Doug Holt: How the hell am I supposed to treat you?
Pamela Abbott: Like you used to; like just plain Pam. And you don't have to say that you're sorry! And don't look at me as though someone just ran over you dog! It's make me want to scream sometimes.
View Quote
Joan Abbott: Jacey needs to be disciplined.
Helen Holt: I don't think that's neccesary.
Joan Abbott: Well if I were you, I'd talk to him, and--.
Helen Holt: No, Joan, I'm not going to do that. If you've got something to say to my son, you're going to have to say it to him yourself.
Joan Abbott: I just thought you would like to know what your son has done.
Helen Holt: And why on Earth should I believe anything you say, Joan.
Helen Holt: I don't think that's neccesary.
Joan Abbott: Well if I were you, I'd talk to him, and--.
Helen Holt: No, Joan, I'm not going to do that. If you've got something to say to my son, you're going to have to say it to him yourself.
Joan Abbott: I just thought you would like to know what your son has done.
Helen Holt: And why on Earth should I believe anything you say, Joan.
View Quote
Narrator/Older Doug: My brother and I were born strangers. Same last name, same address, but everything else about us was different. Back then, Jacey was a complete mystery to me, and I was a constant source of embarrasment to him.
View Quote
Narrator/Older Doug: My mother's life had been damaged by a lie, and my brother was forever lost in a maze of illusions that lie had created... and I had followed him there. Jacey would never find his way out, but I had to... and the only way I could do that was to forgive, but I could never forget.
View Quote
[Lloyd shows Jacey the door after Alice backs away from him.]
Lloyd Abbott: Now get the hell out of here, you rotten stud. Keep your poor-boy dick out of my daughters.
Lloyd Abbott: Now get the hell out of here, you rotten stud. Keep your poor-boy dick out of my daughters.
View Quote
Pamela Abbott: Look, Alice is the good daughter, Eleanor's the bad one, and I'm the one that sort of gets off the hook. It's just the way it works.
View Quote
Pamela Abbott: Look, I'm not rich. My father is. And I didn't pick my father. And if I had a choice between having tons of money and having another father, I'd be absolutely delighted to be poor. But unfortunately, life is just not a cafeteria.
Doug Holt: Life is not a cafeteria?
Pamela Abbott: You know what I mean.
Doug Holt: Life is not a cafeteria?
Pamela Abbott: You know what I mean.
View Quote
[last lines]
Narrator/Older Doug: A year later, the impossible finally happened. One of the Holt boys married one of the Abbott girls. We have two daughters. I named the youngest Helen after my mom.
Narrator/Older Doug: A year later, the impossible finally happened. One of the Holt boys married one of the Abbott girls. We have two daughters. I named the youngest Helen after my mom.
View Quote
Pamela Abbott: How can you ever forgive me?
Doug Holt: You always love me no matter what I did, right?
Pamela Abbott: Yeah.
Doug Holt: Maybe that's how I love you. No matter what. It's the best kind of love, you know?
Doug Holt: You always love me no matter what I did, right?
Pamela Abbott: Yeah.
Doug Holt: Maybe that's how I love you. No matter what. It's the best kind of love, you know?
View Quote
Narrator/Older Doug: My brother was more successful at reinventing himself than I was. Jacey's parties at the University of Pennsylvania were the hippest ones around. And even though he had a major in architecture, he seriously minored in beautiful coeds.
View Quote
[first lines]
Narrator/Older Doug: The end of my innocence and childhood began in 1957. It is remarkable to me now just how little I knew then about the people around me. It took me years to figure out exactly what the truth was, especially given my brother's knack at inventing himself. My mother once told me that if the Abbotts didn't exist, my brother wouldn't have to invent them.
Narrator/Older Doug: The end of my innocence and childhood began in 1957. It is remarkable to me now just how little I knew then about the people around me. It took me years to figure out exactly what the truth was, especially given my brother's knack at inventing himself. My mother once told me that if the Abbotts didn't exist, my brother wouldn't have to invent them.
View Quote
Narrator/Older Doug: The truth about our mother and Lloyd didn't comfort Jacey, because the truth seemed to him just as unfair as the lie he had always believed in.
View Quote
Narrator/Older Doug: That visit from Joan Abbott not only marked the end of Jacey's affair with Eleanor, but also the end of Eleanor Abbott herself. She disappeared from Haley, vanished or banished, no one knew for certain. But life with the Abbotts went on without her.