Inventing the Abbotts quotes

33 total quotes

Major cast

View Quote [Lloyd shows Jacey the door after Alice backs away from him.]
Lloyd Abbott: Now get the hell out of here, you rotten stud. Keep your poor-boy dick out of my daughters.

View Quote Lloyd Abbott: [to Jacey] I have plans for my daughters, Mr. Holt, they don't include you. I know you: I know you better than you know me. I know all there is to know about screwing your way into a wealthy family and there's no way I'm gonna let you screw your way into mine.

View Quote Narrator/Older Doug: My brother and I were born strangers. Same last name, same address, but everything else about us was different. Back then, Jacey was a complete mystery to me, and I was a constant source of embarrasment to him.

View Quote Doug Holt: [sarcastically] Every time an Abbott girl get her period, they throw some kind of party!

View Quote Eleanor Abbott: [to Jacey] I just do things. I let other people figure them out. That's what parents are for; they're really good at doing all the thinking, so why should I? I think this is what they called the silent treatment. I get enough of it from my father, I don't need it from you. So good luck at Penn.

View Quote Narrator/Older Doug: My mother's life had been damaged by a lie, and my brother was forever lost in a maze of illusions that lie had created... and I had followed him there. Jacey would never find his way out, but I had to... and the only way I could do that was to forgive, but I could never forget.

View Quote Narrator/Older Doug: Although she seemed unique to me then, I now know that the world is filled with working women raising children by themselves. There was nothing especially original about my mother... not even in the way she brought her sons back together again.

View Quote Narrator/Older Doug: The truth about our mother and Lloyd didn't comfort Jacey, because the truth seemed to him just as unfair as the lie he had always believed in.

View Quote Lloyd Abbott: I'm sorry about your mother.
Doug Holt: [incredulously] Your sorry?
Lloyd Abbott: You didn't know your mother at all if you think someone like me would ever stood a chance with someone like her.

View Quote Narrator/Older Doug: My mother was right; if the Abbotts didn't exist, Jacey would have had to invent them, but it seems to me that inventing the Abbotts was something that almost everyone in Haley did, and still do. Alice reunited with Peter, lived out the same lie of a happy marriage that her mother and father have lived, and a new generation of Abbott parties began.

View Quote Pamela Abbott: Look, Alice is the good daughter, Eleanor's the bad one, and I'm the one that sort of gets off the hook. It's just the way it works.

View Quote Pamela Abbott: Stop treating me like an Abbott!
Doug Holt: How the hell am I supposed to treat you?
Pamela Abbott: Like you used to; like just plain Pam. And you don't have to say that you're sorry! And don't look at me as though someone just ran over you dog! It's make me want to scream sometimes.

View Quote Helen Holt: There's different kinds of love, darling. Some people you love no matter what, and others you love if the situation was right. To me, the best kind of love is the "no matter what" kind.

View Quote Doug Holt: Either your mad at me because you're mad at me or you're mad at me because you like me, because that's how girls act. I mean... I don't know much but I know that. So, uh, which is it?
Pamela Abbott: Both.

View Quote Doug Holt: Backyard nudity is hypocritical. It's insincere. People should do and say exactly what they feel and think and not try to hide things.