Intolerable Cruelty

Intolerable Cruelty quotes

33 total quotes (ID: 765)

Bonnie Donaly
Donovan Donaly
Gus Petch
Herb Myerson
Marylin Rexroth
Miles Massey
The Baron

I'm going to talk to you about the law. We serve the law. We honor the law. And sometimes, we obey the law. But this is not one of those times.

Who needs a home when you've got a colostomy bag?

Sorry. I'm not omniscient.

Ham sandwich on stale rye bread. Lots of mayo, easy on the ham.

I've invested five good years in my marriage to Rex and I've nailed his ass fair and square. Now I'm going to have it stuffed, mounted, and have my lady friends come over and throw darts at it.

[Wheezy Joe has just accidentally shot himself] Told him it was no go...

Rex, sit!

Wrigley: What do you think?
Miles Massey: What are they, ladles?
Wrigley: Berry spoons.
Miles Massey: Spoons?
Wrigley: Berry spoons. Everybody has spoons.
Miles Massey: And nobody *needs* berry spoons.
Wrigley: Everybody eats berries.
Miles Massey: Who are you, Pollyanna? Where'd you see 'em at? A Martha Stewart catalog right next to the silver napkin rings? Stadium seat ass-warmers?

Explain this away, darling!

Let the record show that the Baron has identified Rex Rexroth as the silly man!

[last lines]
Gus Petch: We gonna make you laugh, we gonna make you cry, but most of all, we gonna
[with audience]
Gus Petch: nail your ass!
Audience: [chanting] Nail your ass! Nail your ass! Nail your ass!

You want tact, call a tactician. You want an ass nailed, you come see Gus Petch.

Why kill the only woman you've ever loved when shes the richer party.

[Marylin's poodle bites Miles Massey on his hand]
Marylin Rexroth: Ow. Howard.
Miles Massey: Howard. You named him after your ex.
Marylin Rexroth: I'm sentimental.

[repeated line] I'm gonna nail your ass!