The Hudsucker Proxy

The Hudsucker Proxy quotes

35 total quotes (ID: 708)

Amy Archer
Buzz the Elevator Operator
Moses the Clock Man
Norville Barnes
Other
Sidney J. Mussburger


Norville Barnes: "Blue Letter. From: the desk of Waring Hudsucker. To: Sidney J. Mussburger. Regarding: My demise. Dear Sid. By the time you read this, I will have joined the organization upstairs -- an exciting new beginning. I will retain fond mem-memor...
Waring Hudsucker: Memories.
Norville Barnes: "...of the memories of the many years that you and I have spent.
Waring Hudsucker: Yeah, yeah, it's the standard resignation boilerplate. Go down to the second paragraph.
Norville: You have no dought been wondering why I have decided to end my tenure at Hudsucker, and here on Earth. Granted, from the standpoint of our balance sheet and financials, sure, sure, we're doing fine. However, Sid, I have made grave errors. My vanity drove away she who could've saved me. Oh yes, I loved a woman once, Sid, as you well know. A beautiful, vibrant lady, an angel who in her wisdom saw fit to choose you instead of I... Mr. Hudsucker?
Waring Hudsucker: [crying] Skip this part. Next page. [stops crying] Next page!


Sidney J. Mussburger: Sure, sure, the kid's screwy. It's official. The barred-window boys are out looking for him now, and we'll see how Wall Street likes the news that the President of Hudsucker Industries is headed for the booby-hatch. Why, when the doc gets through with him he'll need diapers and a dribble cup. Well, if that's all...
All Board Members: Long live the Hud!

Buzz: Mr. Kline, up to nine. Mrs. Dell, personnel. Mr. Levin, thirty-seven.
Mr. Levin: Thirty-six.
Buzz: Walk down. Ladies and gentlemen, step to the rear; here comes the gargantuan Mr. Grier.
Mr. Grier: Buzz.

[Norville is showing the board his new invention: the hula-hoop]
Norville Barnes: You know, for kids! It has economy, simplicity, low production cost and the potential for mass appeal, and all that spells out great profitability! I had the boys down at R & D throw together this prototype so that our discussion here could have some focus and to give you gentlemen of the Board a first-hand look at just how exciting this gizmo is! Its fun, it's healthy, it's good exercise; kids'll just love it, and we put a little sand inside to make the experience more pleasant. But the great part is we won't have to charge an arm and a leg!
Board Member 1: What if you tire before it's done?
Board Member 2: Does it have rules?
Board Member 3: Can more than one play?
Board Member 4: What makes you think it's a game?
Board Member 3: Is it a game?
Board Member 5: Will it break?
Board Member 6: It better break eventually!
Board Member 2: Is there an object?
Board Member 1: What if you tire before it's done?
Board Member 5: Does it come with batteries?
Board Member 4: We could charge extra for them.
Board Member 7: Is it safe for toddlers?
Board Member 3: How can you tell when you're finished?
Board Member 2: How do you make it stop?
Board Member 6: Is that a boy's model?
Board Member 3: Can a parent assemble it?
Board Member 5: Is there a larger model for the obese?
Board Member 1: What if you tire before it's done?
Board Member 8: What the hell is it?

[Prologue] That's right. New York. It's 1958. Anyway, for a few more minutes it is. Come midnight it's gonna be 1959. A whole 'nother feelin'. The New Year. The future. Yeah ole daddy Earth fixin' to start one more trip 'round the sun and everybody hopin' this ride 'round be a little more giddy, a little more gay. Yep, all over town champagne corks is a-poppin'. Over in the Waldorf the big shots is dancin' to the strains of Guy Lombardo. Down in Times Square the little folks is a watchin' and waitin' for that big ball to drop. They all tryin' to catch hold of one moment of time. To be able to say "Right now! This is it! I got it!" 'Course by then it'll be past. But they all happy, everybody havin' a good time. Well, almost everybody. They's a few lost souls floatin' 'round out there. Now if ya'll ain't from the city, we have something here called a "the rat race." Got a way with chewing folks up so that they don't want no celebrating, don't want no cheerin' up, and don't care nothing about no New Year's. Out of hope. Out of rope. Out of time. This here is Norville Barnes. That office he's steppin' out of is the office of the president of Hudsucker Industries. It's his office. How'd he get so high and why is he feelin' so low? Is he really gonna do it? Is Norville really gonna jelly up the sidewalk? Well the future, that's something you can't never tell about. But the past, that's another story.

Hiya, buddy, my name's Buzz. I got the fuzz I make the elevator do what she does.

Up! Up on your feet! We don't crawl here at Hudsucker Industries.

Fight on! Fight on dear old Muncie! Fight on hoist the gold and blue! You'll be tattered, torn, and hurtin' once the Munc' is done with you! Gooooooooooooo Eagles!

I'll stake my Pulitzer on it!

And so began 1959, the new year. When he learned that Norville owned the comp'ny, ol' Sidney was upset at first. It's a good thing Doc Bromfenbrenner was there because he was able to keep Sidney from harmin' his ol' self.

Say, buddy, who's the most liquid businessman on the street? Waring Hudsucker! Say buddy, when is a sidewalk fully dressed? When it's Waring Hudsucker! You get it buddy! It's a pun, it's a knee-slapper, it's a play on- Jesus, Joseph, and Mary! Is that a Blue Letter!

I wasn't expecting all this hoopla. You can quote me on that.

Well look who it is. Amy Archer, Prizeter Pule winner.

And that's the story of how Norville Barnes climbed waaay up to the forty-fourth floor of the Hudsucker Building, and then fell all the way down but didn't quite squish hisself. You know, they say there was a man who jumped from the forty-FIFTH floor? But that's another story.

For instance, take a look at this sweet baby. (Shows a drawn circle on a piece of paper.) I developed it myself. Yessirie, this is my big ticket upstairs. You know, for kids.