The Hudsucker Proxy

The Hudsucker Proxy quotes

35 total quotes (ID: 708)

Amy Archer
Buzz the Elevator Operator
Moses the Clock Man
Norville Barnes
Other
Sidney J. Mussburger


[Norville is sleeping at his desk]
Buzz the Elevator Operator: Say, Buddy... Ya busy?
Norville Barnes: [wakes up] Huh-whuh?
Buzz the Elevator Operator: Looks like ya nodded off there! Say, buddy, ya got a minute?
Norville Barnes: Buzz... Is it important?
Buzz the Elevator Operator: I like to think so! It's this little idea I been working on. Ya see, I don't intend to be an elevator boy forever. Take a look at this sweet baby! [shows Norville a drawing of a circle] Ya get it, buddy? Incredibly convenient, isn't it? You know, for drinks. [shows Norville a straw] This is how it works, it's these little ridges on the side that give it its whammy! See, ya don't have to drink like this nomore; now you can drink like this. [bends staw] I call it the Buzz-Sucker, get it, buddy? After me! Why, people are just dyin' for a product like this, and the great thing is we won't have to charge an arm and a --
Norville Barnes: Wait a minute! [He looks at it like when Mussburger first looked at his own invention] This is worthless.
Buzz the Elevator Operator:Huh?! But, buddy --
Norville Barnes: This is the most idiotic thing I've ever seen in my life!
Buzz the Elevator Operator: Yeah, but, buddy --
Norville Barnes: Nobody wants a hare-brained product like this! Ya see, Buzz, it lacks the creative spark, the unalloyed genius that made, say, the hula hoop such a success.
Buzz the Elevator Operator: But, buddy --
Norville Barnes: What do you mean barging in here and taking up my valuable time! I've got a company to run here!
Buzz the Elevator Operator: [laughs] But, buddy, you were --
Buzz the Elevator Operator: I can't have every deadbeat on the Hudsucker payroll pestering me with their idiotic brainwaves!
Buzz the Elevator Operator: Geez, buddy, I'm sorry.
Norville Barnes: An example must be made!
Buzz the Elevator Operator: Wuddya mean, buddy?
Norville Barnes: You're fired! Is that plain enough for you, buster!
[Buzz begins to bawl and grabs Norville's legs]
Buzz the Elevator Operator: Awwww, buddy --
Norville Barnes: And don't call me buddy! Out of here!
Buzz the Elevator Operator: Aw, please, sir! This job, just running the elevator, it's all I got! I understand if ya don't like the Buzz-Sucker! Just, please, let me keep my job! I'm prayin' to ya!
Norville Barnes: Get out of my office! Get out! [Buzz crawls away crying] Up! Up on your feet! We don't crawl at Hudsucker Industries! Get out! And leave your uniform in the locker room!
Buzz the Elevator Operator: I'm sorry, sir... I'm sorry...


Sidney J. Mussburger: Sure, sure, the kid's screwy. It's official. The barred-window boys are out looking for him now, and we'll see how Wall Street likes the news that the President of Hudsucker Industries is headed for the booby-hatch. Why, when the doc gets through with him he'll need diapers and a dribble cup. Well, if that's all...
All Board Members: Long live the Hud!

Waring Hudsucker: [after singing She'll Be Comin' Around the Mountain] Love that tune. How ya doin', kid?
Norville Barnes: Mr. Hudsucker?
Waring Hudsucker: [points to his halo] Hey, how do you like that thing. They're all wearin' up stairs. It's a fad. Anyway, I hear your having some, uh, problems with the board. I guess Sidney's been puttin' the screws to ya, huh, Norman?
Norville Barnes: Norville.
Waring Hudsucker: Yeah, yeah. Well, say what you like about the man's ethics, he's a balls-to-the-wall businessman. Beat ya any way he can. Straight for the jugular. Very effective. Any particular reason you didn't give him my Blue Letter? Jesus, Norman, just a dying man's last words and wishes, no big deal.
Norville Barnes: Mr. Hudsucker, I must of mislaid it --
Waring Hudsucker: It's sittin' in your apron pocket, right where you left it. Imbecile. Failure to deliver a Blue Letter is grounds for dismissal.
Norville Barnes: Oh geez sir...
Waring Hudsucker: Ah, it's New Year's, I'm not gonna add to your woes. I'm just saying. Anyway, you wanna read it? You might learn something. Might keep ya from jumpin' outta anymore windows.

Norville Barnes: "Blue Letter. From: the desk of Waring Hudsucker. To: Sidney J. Mussburger. Regarding: My demise. Dear Sid. By the time you read this, I will have joined the organization upstairs -- an exciting new beginning. I will retain fond mem-memor...
Waring Hudsucker: Memories.
Norville Barnes: "...of the memories of the many years that you and I have spent.
Waring Hudsucker: Yeah, yeah, it's the standard resignation boilerplate. Go down to the second paragraph.
Norville: You have no dought been wondering why I have decided to end my tenure at Hudsucker, and here on Earth. Granted, from the standpoint of our balance sheet and financials, sure, sure, we're doing fine. However, Sid, I have made grave errors. My vanity drove away she who could've saved me. Oh yes, I loved a woman once, Sid, as you well know. A beautiful, vibrant lady, an angel who in her wisdom saw fit to choose you instead of I... Mr. Hudsucker?
Waring Hudsucker: [crying] Skip this part. Next page. [stops crying] Next page!

Norville Barnes: [reading from the Blue Letter] "...the new president should be free to fall --"
Waring Hudsucker: Fail.
Norville Barnes: "...so he can learn and then fail --"
Waring Hudsucker: Fall!
Norville Barnes: "...and rise up.