How the Grinch Stole Christmas quotes
8 total quotes (ID: 281)Major cast
Quotes
[The Grinch gets his heart examined by an X-ray machine.]
The Grinch: YES! DOWN A SIZE AND A HALF!! [to camera] And this time, I'll keep it off.
[The Grinch checks his answering machine.]
The Grinch: Any calls?
Answering Machine: [electronic voice] You have no messages.
The Grinch: Odd. Better check the outgoing.
Answering Machine: [Grinch's voice] "If you so much as utter one syllable, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! If you'd like to fax me, press the star key."
The Grinch: Hmm. Hmm. Oh well.
[Cindy Lou Who enters the Grinch's home to ask him to be Holiday Cheermeister]
The Grinch: Hello... little girl. HOW DARE YOU ENTER THE GRINCH'S LAIR?!? THE IMPUDENCE!!! THE AU-DACITY!!! THE UN- MITI-GATED GALL!!! You called down the thunder. Now, get ready FOR THE BOOOOOOOOOM!!!!! Gaze into the face... of fear. BOOGA-BOOGA!!!
Cindy Lou Who: [perfectly calm] Mr. Grinch, my name is Cindy Lou Who.
The Grinch: You see? Even now, the terror is welling up inside you...
Cindy Lou Who: I'm not scared.
The Grinch: Denial is to be expected in the face of... pure evil. [makes ludicrous growling noises in a vain attempt to scare her]
Cindy Lou Who: I don't think so.
The Grinch: [trying to mend his pride] Doubt? Another unmistakable sign of the heebie-jeebies! NOW, you're DOOMED!
The Grinch: Bleeding hearts of the world unite!
The Grinch: Blast this christmas music! It's joyful and triumphant.
The Grinch: Suffering snorkel blatz! They're relentless!
The Grinch: Nice kid, bad judge of charecter.
Cindy Lou Who: Santa, What Christmas really about?
The Grinch: VENGEANCE!!! ... I mean... presents, I suppose.
The Grinch: Oh, the Who-manity.
[A taxicab passes but doesn't stop for the Grinch.]
The Grinch: It's because I'm green, isn't it?
The Grinch: The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there and on such short notice. Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn't allow it. 4:00, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one. 5:30, Jazzercize. 6:30, dinner with me. I can't cancel that again. 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing I'm booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to nine, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling, and slip slowly into madness. (pause) But what would I wear?!
The Grinch: One man's toxic sludge is another man's potpourri.
[Max barks.]
The Grinch: I don't know, it's some kind of soup.
Narrator: The Whos, young and old, would sit down to a Feast,
and they will feast, and they will feast.
The Grinch: And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast.
They'll eat their Who-Pudding and rare Who-Roast Beast.
But there's something I just cannot stand in least
Oh no. I'm speaking in RHYME!!
The Grinch: Year after year,
I've put up with it now
I must stop Christmas from coming
But how? (realizing he's rhyming) I mean-in what way?
The Grinch: [messing with peoples mail] Jury duty, jury duty, jury duty, blackmail, pink slip, chain letter, eviction notice, blackmail, jury duty...
The Grinch: "Even if we are mangaled by the fall , there are no sad faces on christmas.
The Grinch: All right, you're a reindeer. Here's your motivation: Your name is Rudolph, you're a freak with a red nose, and no one likes you. Then, one day, Santa picks you and you save Christmas. No, forget that part. We'll improvise... just keep it kind of loosey-goosey. You HATE Christmas, you're gonna steal it. Saving Christmas is a lousy ending; way too commercial. ACTION.
[Max knocks red nose off] The Grinch: BRILLIANT. You reject your own nose because it represents the glitter of commercialism. Why didn't I think of that? Cut, print, moving on
The Grinch: YES! DOWN A SIZE AND A HALF!! [to camera] And this time, I'll keep it off.
[The Grinch checks his answering machine.]
The Grinch: Any calls?
Answering Machine: [electronic voice] You have no messages.
The Grinch: Odd. Better check the outgoing.
Answering Machine: [Grinch's voice] "If you so much as utter one syllable, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! If you'd like to fax me, press the star key."
The Grinch: Hmm. Hmm. Oh well.
[Cindy Lou Who enters the Grinch's home to ask him to be Holiday Cheermeister]
The Grinch: Hello... little girl. HOW DARE YOU ENTER THE GRINCH'S LAIR?!? THE IMPUDENCE!!! THE AU-DACITY!!! THE UN- MITI-GATED GALL!!! You called down the thunder. Now, get ready FOR THE BOOOOOOOOOM!!!!! Gaze into the face... of fear. BOOGA-BOOGA!!!
Cindy Lou Who: [perfectly calm] Mr. Grinch, my name is Cindy Lou Who.
The Grinch: You see? Even now, the terror is welling up inside you...
Cindy Lou Who: I'm not scared.
The Grinch: Denial is to be expected in the face of... pure evil. [makes ludicrous growling noises in a vain attempt to scare her]
Cindy Lou Who: I don't think so.
The Grinch: [trying to mend his pride] Doubt? Another unmistakable sign of the heebie-jeebies! NOW, you're DOOMED!
The Grinch: Bleeding hearts of the world unite!
The Grinch: Blast this christmas music! It's joyful and triumphant.
The Grinch: Suffering snorkel blatz! They're relentless!
The Grinch: Nice kid, bad judge of charecter.
Cindy Lou Who: Santa, What Christmas really about?
The Grinch: VENGEANCE!!! ... I mean... presents, I suppose.
The Grinch: Oh, the Who-manity.
[A taxicab passes but doesn't stop for the Grinch.]
The Grinch: It's because I'm green, isn't it?
The Grinch: The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there and on such short notice. Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn't allow it. 4:00, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one. 5:30, Jazzercize. 6:30, dinner with me. I can't cancel that again. 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing I'm booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to nine, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling, and slip slowly into madness. (pause) But what would I wear?!
The Grinch: One man's toxic sludge is another man's potpourri.
[Max barks.]
The Grinch: I don't know, it's some kind of soup.
Narrator: The Whos, young and old, would sit down to a Feast,
and they will feast, and they will feast.
The Grinch: And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast.
They'll eat their Who-Pudding and rare Who-Roast Beast.
But there's something I just cannot stand in least
Oh no. I'm speaking in RHYME!!
The Grinch: Year after year,
I've put up with it now
I must stop Christmas from coming
But how? (realizing he's rhyming) I mean-in what way?
The Grinch: [messing with peoples mail] Jury duty, jury duty, jury duty, blackmail, pink slip, chain letter, eviction notice, blackmail, jury duty...
The Grinch: "Even if we are mangaled by the fall , there are no sad faces on christmas.
The Grinch: All right, you're a reindeer. Here's your motivation: Your name is Rudolph, you're a freak with a red nose, and no one likes you. Then, one day, Santa picks you and you save Christmas. No, forget that part. We'll improvise... just keep it kind of loosey-goosey. You HATE Christmas, you're gonna steal it. Saving Christmas is a lousy ending; way too commercial. ACTION.
[Max knocks red nose off] The Grinch: BRILLIANT. You reject your own nose because it represents the glitter of commercialism. Why didn't I think of that? Cut, print, moving on
Bill Irwin Lou Lou Who
Christine Baranski Martha May Whovier
Clint Howard Whobris
Jeffrey Tambor Mayor Augustus Maywho
Jim Carrey Grinch
Molly Shannon Betty Lou Who
Taylor Momsen Cindy Lou Who