Hot Fuzz quotes

View Quote DS Andy Wainwright: Murder, murder, murder. Change the ****in' record!

View Quote Sgt. Turner: Nobody tells me nothing!

View Quote Sgt. Turner: Sergeant Angel? Someone from 'London' called for you.

View Quote Met Sergeant: You have to come back. The figures have gone a bit... squiffy in your absence, it has to be said.

View Quote Tim Messenger: [seconds before an ornate stone feature of the church roof falls on his head] Hi hi!

View Quote Inspector Frank Butterman: [trying to convince the Sandford Police to arrest Angel] You aren't seriously going to believe this man, are you? HE ISN'T EVEN FROM ROUND HERE!!!

View Quote DC Andy Wainwright: [after a bottle of bolognaise explodes in his face] It's alright, Andy! It's just bolognaise!

View Quote Lurch: Yarp.

View Quote Met Sergeant: Hello, Nicholas.
Nicholas Angel: Hello, Sergeant.
Met Sergeant: How's the hand?
Nicholas Angel: Still a bit stiff.
Met Sergeant: It can get awfully hairy out there. I'm surprised you weren't snapped up sooner for a nice desk job, that's what I did.
Nicholas Angel: I like to think my office is out on the street.
Met Sergeant: Indeed you do. Your arrest record is 400% higher than any other officer, which is high time such skills were put to better use. We're making you Sergeant.
Nicholas Angel: I see. Where?
Met Sergeant: In Sandford, Gloucestershire.
Nicholas Angel: But that's... in the country?
Met Sergeant: Yes! Lovely.
Nicholas Angel: Isn't there a Sergeant's position here in London?
Met Sergeant: No.
Nicholas Angel: Can I remain here as a PC?
Met Sergeant: No.
Nicholas Angel: Do I have any choice in this?
Met Sergeant: No!
Nicholas Angel: Sergeant, I kinda like it here.
Met Sergeant: Well, you've always wanted a transfer to the country.
Nicholas Angel: In twenty years or so, yes.
Met Sergeant: Well done you.

View Quote Chief Inspector: I know what you're going to say, Nicholas, but the fact is you've been making us all look bad.
Nicholas Angel: I'm sorry, sir?
Chief Inspector: Of course, we all appreciate your efforts, but you've been rather letting the side down.
Met Inspector: It's all about being a team player, Nicholas.
Met Sergeant: You can't be the Sheriff of London.
Chief Inspector: If we let you carry on running around town, you'll continue to be exceptional... and we can't have that. You'll put us all out of a job.
Nicholas Angel: With respect, sir, you can't just make people disappear.
Chief Inspector: Yes I can, I'm the Chief Inspector.
Nicholas Angel: Well, however you spin this, there's one thing you haven't taken into account... and that's what the team is gonna make of this!
[Nicholas gets up and storms out, only to see all of his colleagues happily standing underneath a banner reading 'Good Luck Nicholas']

View Quote [on Angel's first night in the Crown pub, he spies many underage drinkers and, even though he is not an official member of the Sandford police force until the next morning, he is spurred into action]
Nicholas Angel: Excuse me. When's your birthday?
Underage Drinker: [confidently] 22nd of February.
Nicholas Angel: What year?
Underage Drinker: Every year.
Nicholas Angel: Get out.
[Nicholas approaches a new target]
Nicholas Angel: YOU! When's your birthday?
Underage Drinker: Uh... 8th of May, 1969?
Nicholas Angel: You're 37?
Underage Drinker: Yeah.
Nicholas Angel: Get out.
[he approaches a swotty drinker with glasses]
Nicholas Angel: When's your birthday?
Underage Drinker: [panicking] Errr--
Nicholas Angel: OUT!

View Quote [after Angel has arrested three underage drinkers and a drunk driver]
Sgt. Turner: 'Sergeant Nicholas Angel'. When did you start?
Nicholas Angel: Tomorrow.
Sgt. Turner: I see you've already arrested the whole village.

View Quote Simon Skinner: Lock me up.
Nicholas Angel: I'm sorry?
Simon Skinner: I'm a slasher, and I must be stopped.
Nicholas Angel: You're a what?
Simon Skinner: A slasher... of prices! Ha ha ha, just kidding! I'm Simon Skinner, and I run the local Supermarche. Stop in and see me some time. My discounts are criminal! Catch me later!

View Quote [encountering Danny Butterman, who Nicholas previously arrested for drunk driving, in uniform for the first time]
Nicholas Angel: Why are you dressed as a police officer?
Danny Butterman: Because I am one?

View Quote Inspector Frank Butterman: Your predecessor assumed rural policing was easy. Ended up having a nervous breakdown, and Sergeant Popwell was an exceptional officer. Truly exceptional. But he had one thing you haven't got.
Nicholas Angel: What's that, sir?
Inspector Frank Butterman: [jovially] A GREAT BIG BUSHY BEARD!