Hoodwinked

Hoodwinked quotes

39 total quotes (ID: 856)

Boingo
Kirk/Woodsman
Others
Red
The Wolf
Twitchy


Chief Grizzly: Pretty thin Wolf! You say the old lady was already tied up. How did that happen?
Wolf: I don't know, maybe to make herself look innocent. I just write the news Chief, I don't make it.
Red: For a reporter, you sure have a strange way of doing your job.
Wolf: What can I say? I was raised by wolves.


Red: Who are you ?
Wolf: I'm your grandma.
Red: Your face looks really weird, granny.
Wolf: I've been sick, I... uh...
Red: Your mouth doesn't move when you talk.
Wolf: Plastic surgery. Grandma's had a little work done.

Granny: Honey, don't look at your granny like that.
Red: I'm sorry, I thought you were Triple G. Or... are you the Bandit?
Bill: Awkward!
[awkwardly slips out of the room]

[Boingo does his evil dance]
Granny: We've got to do something!
Wolf: I know. The song was catchy, but their choreography was awful.

[Red meets Japeth]
Red: I'm looking for Granny Puckett's house?
Japeth: [singing] Graaaaaaaanneeee Puckeeeet...
Red: Could you stop singing for one moment?
Japeth: [singing] No I can't, wish I could, but a mountain witch done put a spell on me, 37 years agoooooooo, and now I gotta sing every thing I saaaaaaaaayyyyyy...
Red: Everything?
Japeth: [speaking] That's right.
Red: You just talked! Just now!
Japeth: Oh, did I? (sings) Did I? Dididididodadidididoooo...

Boingo: [to tied and gagged Red] Hey, you're a delivery girl, right? Then could you do me a favor? Could you take this down the mountain? 'Cause it absolutely, positively has to be there TONIGHT!

Woodsman: [disguised as Dolph] Uh, Mister Rabbit...
Boingo: Dolph! Where have you been? You nimwitted Eurotrash with the... what is that, a ski mask?
Woodsman: Uh, I, um, yah...
Boingo: I like that! See, that's scary. Yeah that's good...
Woodsman: Um, b-boss...
Boingo: WHAT? Say it! Spit it out! What's goin' on?
Woodsman: Um... boss, uh,
[singing]
Woodsman: Paul's bunion cream/has the soothing formula...
Wolf: [interrupts, also in disguise] Hi there! What he means to say is that I'm the building inspector.
Woodsman: Yah, yes!
Wolf: I just need to tap the pipes; see if your wiring's up to par.
Boingo: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it, you're not... no, you can't touch anything in here.
Wolf: [pauses] Let's walk.

Woodsman: Arrrgh! Paul's bunion cream has the soothing formula...
Jimmy Lizard: [interrupts] Whoa, whoa, whoa, no. Hold it, hold it. Ho, ho, stop... Look, "Argh"?
Woodsman: Uh-huh...
Jimmy Lizard: What... what are ya, some kinda German pirate or somethin'?
Woodsman: I just got the script, like, five minutes ago... I'm trying...
Jimmy Lizard: Okay, sure, sure, um... you're not gettin' it...

Flippers: It would seem that all of you came together tonight by mistake.
[walks past dog typing notes]
Flippers: Maybe you naughty neighbors butted heads so we could get to the real truth.
Wolf: The Goody Bandit...
Flippers: That's right. The Bandit's still at large. There's been a lot of finger pointing tonight, but now all fingers point to the Bandit.
Woodsman: Not my finger!
[quickly puts index finger in mouth and starts sucking it]
Flippers: Oh no, you were just out damaging forest property, cutting down the redwoods we all call home.
[the Woodsman starts spluttering]
Flippers: Big guy like you, you could probably take whatever you want from little goody-loving creatures, couldn't you?
Woodsman: But someone robbed me! Have we lost track of that?
Flippers: Thats right, someone did. Maybe a snack food competitor. Right Granny?
Granny: Now hold on a pea-picking minute! I may lead a double life full of secrets and deception, but that's no reason to be suspicious.
Woodsman: Huh?
Flippers: A woman like you could have a lot to gain stealing all those recipes.
Chief Grizzly: And that's how she makes her goodies so good! Eh?
Flippers: Or she could just be another victim... of a hungry Wolf
Wolf: Ah, the wolf did it. Talk about profiling.
Flippers: Why should we trust someone who wears disguises for a living?
Chief Grizzly: Maybe he's not a wolf at all!
Wolf: You got me. I'm a poodle. I just haven't been to the barbershop in a long time.
Chief Grizzly: Is this all just a big joke to you?
Wolf: I just followed the girl here.
Granny: You leave my granddaughter alone!
Flippers: Yes, now we get to Little Red, the girl with the basket on the run.
[camera points to empty chair]
Flippers: Where is she anyway?