The Nosy Concierge quotes

[Upon discovering that the McCallisters' credit card was stolen] Bingo!

What's the matter? Store wouldn't take your...STOLEN CREDIT CARD!? Let's see what the police have to say about this!

Kevin's mother: What kind of idiots do you have working here?
Mrs. Stone: The finest in New York!
[Harry and Marv, who have escaped from prison, have arrived in New York in a fish truck]
Harry: Here we are, Marv. New York City, the Land of Opportunity. [Takes a deep breath] Smell that?
Marv: [Takes a deep breath] Yeah.
Harry: Know what that is?
Marv: Fish.
Harry: It's freedom.
Marv: No, it's fish.
Harry: It's freedom, and it's money.
Marv: Ok, Ok, it's freedom.
Harry:: Come on, let's get out of here before someone sees us. [He leaves the truck]
Marv: And it's fish. [He leaves]

Sergeant at the toy store: Well Mr.Duncan it's all over with we apprehended the thieves and recovered some money
Mr.Duncan: Good I'm going to get that money over to the children's hospital

Harry: Yeah. We stay around for a while, grab a couple of phony passports and then Hightail it to some foreign country.
Marv: Arizona? [He uses a sticky glove to steal some coins from a Santa Claus' bucket]
Harry: That's very smart, Marv. You bust outta jail to rob fourteen cents from a Santa Claus?
Marv: Every little bit helps. Besides, now we've got our new nickname: We're the Sticky Bandits!
Harry: [Annoyed] Real cute.

Johnny: Hold it right there.
Gardenias: It's me, Johnny.
Johnny: I knew it was you. I can smell you getting off the elevator.
Gardenias: Gardenias, Johnny, your favorite.
Johnny: You was here last night too, wasn't you?
Gardenias: I was singing at the Blue Monkey last night.
Johnny: You was here and you was smooching with my brother.
Gardenias: That's a dirty lie, Johnny.
Johnny: Don't give me that. You been smooching everybody! Snuffy, Al, Leo... Little Moe with the gimpy leg, Cheeks, Boney Bob, Cliff... I could go on forever, baby.
Gardenias: You have me all wrong!
Johnny: All right, I believe you, but my Tommy gun don't!
Gardenias: Johnny! You're the only duck in my pond!
Johnny: Get down on your knees and tell me you love me.
Gardenias: Baby! I'm over the moon for you!
Johnny: You gotta do better than that!
Gardenias: If my love was an ocean, Lindy'd have to take two planes to get across it.
Johnny: Maybe I'm off my hinges, but I believe you. That's why I'm gonna let you go. I'm gonna give you till the count of three to get your lousy, lying, four-flushing carcass out my door! One, two...
(Johnny shoots Gardenias while laughing maniacally)
Johnny: Three. Merry Christmas, you filthy animal. (shoots) And a Happy New Year.

Johnny: Hold it right there!
Mr. Hector: This is the Concierge, sir.
Johnny: I knew it was you. I could smell you getting off the elevator. You was here last night too, wasn't you.
Mr. Hector: Yes, sir. I was.
Johnny: You was her and you was smooching with my brother.
Mr. Hector: But... I'm afraid you're mistaken, sir.
Johnny: Don't give me that. You been smooching everybody! Snuffy, Al, Leo... Little Moe with the gimpy leg, Cheeks, Boney Bob, Cliff...
(Cliff gets shocked and the staff stares at him)
Cliff: No. It's a lie!
Johnny: I could go on forever, baby.
Mr. Hector: I'm terribly sorry, sir. But I'm afraid you're mistaken. We're looking for a young man.
Johnny: All right, I believe you, but my Tommy gun don't! Get down on your knees and tell me you love me.
Mr. Hector: On your knees. I love you.
Johnny: You gotta do better than that!
Mr. Hector, Cedric, Mrs. Stone, Cliff: I love you!
Johnny: Maybe I'm off my hinges, but I believe you. That's why I'm gonna let you go. I'm gonna give you till the count of three to get your lousy, lying, low-down, four-flushing carcass out my door! One... two...
(Johnny shoots as the staff ducks from the room, and several hotel guests notice)
Johnny: Three. Merry Christmas, you filthy animal. (shoots) And a Happy New Year.
Mr. Hector (as the staff crawls out): Stay in your rooms! This is an emergency! There's an insane guest with a gun!

Harry: [after catching Kevin] Come to papa!
Marv: 'Round trip to Miami? What's the matter, kid? Get on the wrong plane, sport?
Harry: Looks like you won't be needing this, kid. (takes ticket out of Kevin's hand and rips it)
Marv: American don't fly to the promise land, little buddy.

Cedric: You know, Herbert Hoover once stayed on this floor.
Kevin: The vacuum guy?
Cedric: No, the, uh, president.

Harry: [Opens the cash register in Duncan's Toy Chest and steals money from it] Merry Christmas, Harry!
Marv: [Opens a chest stuffed with cash and steals money from it] Happy Hanukkah, Marv!

Marv: Look at how the tables were turned.
Harry: How do you like the ice, kid? Let's take a little stroll in the park.

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