Heathers quotes

79 total quotes

Heather Chandler
Heather Duke
J.D.
Multiple Characters
Veronica Sawyer

View Quote It's one thing to want someone out of your life, but it's another thing to serve them a wake-up cup full of Liquid Drano.

View Quote Veronica: You know, I have a little prepared speech I tell my suitor when he wants more than I'd like to give him. Gee, blank, I had a really nice...
Brad: Save the speeches for Malcolm X, I just want to get laid.
Veronica: You don't deserve my ****ing speech.

View Quote [Kneeling at Heather's coffin,"praying"]Hi. I'm sorry. Technically, I did not kill Heather Chandler.. But hey, who am I trying to kid, right? I just want my High School to be a nice place... Amen... Did that sound bitchy?

View Quote You know what I want, babe? *shoots J.D.* Cool guys like you out of my life.

View Quote Heather McNamara: [discussing J.D., who pulled a gun on Kurt and Ram] God, they won't expel him, they'll just suspend him for a week or something.
Heather Chandler: He used a real gun. They should throw his ass in jail.
Veronica: No way. He used blanks. All J. D. really did was ruin two pairs of pants, maybe not even that. Can you bleach out urine stains?

View Quote Tomorrow, I'll be kissing her aerobicized ass, but tonight, let me dream of a world without Heather, a world where I am free.

View Quote Kurt: It'd be so righteous to be in a Veronica Sawyer-Heather Chandler sandwich. Punch it in, Ram.
Ram: Oh, hell yes. I wanna set a Heather on my Johnson and just start spinnin' her around like a goddamn pinwheel.

View Quote Seven schools in seven states and the only thing different is my locker combination.

View Quote If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be a human being. You'd be a game-show host.

View Quote [underlining words in Moby Dick] Es-ki-mo...

View Quote [sarcastic] Intense... grow up. You think I'll drink it just because you call me chicken...? Just gimme the cup, jerk.

View Quote J.D.: Is your life perfect?
Veronica: I'm on my way to a party at Remington University.... No, my life's not perfect. I don't really like my friends.
J.D.: I... I don't really like your friends either.
Veronica: Well, it's just like - they're people I work with, and our job is being popular and shit.
J.D.: Maybe it's time to take a vacation.

View Quote Heather, my love, there's a new sheriff in town.

View Quote Pauline Fleming: I think it's a good opportunity to share the... feelings that this suicide has spurred in all of us. Now, who would like to begin?
Tracey: I heard it was really gnarly. She sucked down a bowl of multi-purpose deodorizing disinfectant, and then SMASH.
Pauline Fleming: Now Tracey, let's not rehash the coroner's report. Let's talk emotions.

View Quote Nothing can stop JD, not the FBI, the CIA or the PTA.