Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets quotes

View Quote [Harry and Malfoy's duel]
Lockhart: Now, on the count of three, I want you to cast your charms to disarm your opponent. Only to disarm. We don't want any accidents here. One. Two--
Draco Malfoy: Everte Statum!
[Harry is blasted into doing two to three 360s in the air. He gets up.]
Harry: Rictusempra!
[Malfoy does several horizontal flips in the air, landing in front of Snape. He grabs Malfoy and forces him back in place]
Lockhart: I said disarm only!
Draco Malfoy: Serpensortia!
[A snake flies out of Malfoy's wand]
Snape: Don't move, Potter. I'll get rid of it for you.
Lockhart: Allow me, Professor Snape. Alarte Ascendere!
[The snake blasts into the air, hisses at the audience, then lands back down]

View Quote (Harry, Ron and Hermione discussing about whether or not to ask Hagrid about the Chamber of Secrets)
Hermione: Look, Hagarid is our friend, so why don't we just go and ask him?
Ron: [Sarcastically] That will be a cheerful visit. "Hello Hagrid. Tell us, have you sent anything mad and hairy loose in the castle lately?"
Hagrid: [Appears from behind] Mad and hairy? Yer are not talkin' about me are ye?
Hermione Ron Harry No!

View Quote Gilderoy Lockhart: Allow me to introduce my assistant... Professor Snape. [Snape grudgingly walks up onto the platform] He has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration. Now, I don't want any of you youngsters to worry. You'll still have your Potions Master when I'm through with him. Never fear.
[Lockhart and Snape approach each other, bow to each other, walk a fair distance apart and ready their wands.]
Gilderoy Lockhart: One, two, three.
Snape: Expelliarmus!
[The spell blasts Lockhart across the room.]
Hermione: Think he's all right?
Ron: Who cares?!
Gilderoy Lockhart: An excellent idea to show them that, Professor Snape. But if you don't mind my saying, it was pretty obvious as to what you were about to do. If I had wanted to stop you, it would have been only too easy.
Snape: Perhaps it would be prudent to first teach the students to block unfriendly spells, professor.
Gilderoy Lockhart: An excellent suggestion, Professor Snape. Let's have a volunteer. Uh, Potter, Weasley. How about you?
[Harry walks to the platform steps]
Snape: Weasley's wand causes devestation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending Potter to the hospital wing in a matchbox. Might I suggest someone from my own house? Malfoy, perhaps?

View Quote Draco Malfoy: Bet you loved that, didn't you, Potter? Famous Harry Potter. Can't even go into a bookshop without leading the front page.
Ginny Weasley: Leave him alone.
Draco Malfoy: Oh, look, Potter. Got yourself a girlfriend.
Lucius Malfoy: [Places the silver snake of his walking stick on Draco's shoulder] Now, now, Draco. Play nicely. [To Harry] Lucius Malfoy. Your scar is legend. As is, of course, is the wizard who gave it to you.
Harry: Voldemort killed my parents. He was nothing more than a murderer.
Lucius Malfoy: Hmm, you must be very brave to mention his name... or very foolish.
Hermione: Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.
Lucius Malfoy: And you must be... Miss Granger. Yes, Draco's told me all about you... and your parents. Muggles, aren't they? [Looks at Ron] Let me see. Red hair, vacant expressions... [Takes a book out of Ginny's cauldron] tatty, secondhand book. You must be the Weasleys.

View Quote Mr. Weasley: Now, Harry, you must know all about Muggles. Tell me, what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
Harry: Oh, um...

View Quote Gilderoy Lockhart: Hello. Who are you?
Ron: Ron Weasley.
Gilderoy Lockhart: Really? And, er, who-who am I?
Ron: [to Harry] Lockhart's Memory Charm backfired. He hasn't got a clue who he is.
Gilderoy Lockhart: [picks up a rock] It's an odd sort of place, isn't it? Do you live here?
Ron: [takes the rock from Lockhart] No.
Gilderoy Lockhart: Really?
[Ron hits Lockhart on the head with the rock, knocking him out]

View Quote Mrs. Weasley: Your sons flew that enchanted car of yours to Surrey and back last night!
Mr. Weasley: Did you really? How did it go? [Mrs. Weasley hits him] I mean, that was very wrong indeed, boys. Very wrong of you.

View Quote Lucius Malfoy: Let us hope that Mr. Potter will always be around to save the day.
Harry: Don't worry. I will be.

View Quote Draco Malfoy: Scared, Potter?
Harry: You wish.

View Quote Moaning Myrtle: Oh, Harry? If you die down there, you're welcome to share my toilet.
Harry: Uh...thanks, Myrtle.

View Quote Draco Malfoy: [Harry is disguised as Goyle but is still wearing his glasses] Why are you wearing glasses?
Harry: [Quickly removes his glasses] Um...reading.
Draco Malfoy: Reading? [Harry nods] I didn't know you could read.

View Quote Ron: Those are Nimbus Two-Thousand and Ones! How'd you get those?
Marcus Flint: A gift from Draco's father.
Draco Malfoy: You see, Weasley, unlike some, my father can afford the best.
Hermione: At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in. They got in on pure talent.
Draco Malfoy: No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood!
Ron: You'll pay for that one, Malfoy! Eat slugs!
[Ron's spell backfires, causing him to spit up slugs]
Colin Creevey: [starts taking pictures of Ron] Can you turn him around Harry?
Harry Potter: No, Colin! Get out of the way.

View Quote Ron: They were starving him, Mum! There were bars on his window!
Mrs. Weasley: Well, you'd best hope I don't put bars on your window, Ronald Weasley!

View Quote [Ron's wand is broken]
Ron: [in high voice] My wand. Look at my wand.
Harry: Be thankful it's not your neck.

View Quote [After Dobby has beaten himself nearly senseless]
Harry: Are you all right?
Dobby: [Dazedly] Dobby had to punish himself, sir. Dobby almost spoke ill of his family.