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Harold: So what are you in here for?
Jackson: For being black.
Harold: Seriously?
Jackspn: I am serious. You wanna know what happened? I was walking out of a Barnes & Noble, and a cop stops me. Evidently a black guy robbed a store in Newark. I told him, "I haven't even been to Newark in months." So he starts beating me with his gun, telling me to stop resisting arrest.
Harold: Holy shit, what'd you do?
Jackson: I kept saying, "I understand I'm under arrest. Now please stop beating me."
Harold: I don't understand how you can be so calm about all this.
Jackson: Look at me. I'm fat, black, can't dance, and I have two gay fathers. People have been messing with me my whole life. I learned a long time ago there's no sense getting all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should. Plus I have a really large penis. That keeps me happy.


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