Half Baked

Half Baked quotes

27 total quotes (ID: 260)

Other
Scarface
Thurgood


Let me tell you something: I love weed. I love it! But not as much as I love pussy!


Nasty Nate: So the next time I come for you, I'm gonna want some ****tail...FRUIT!

Brian: You smoke?
Mary Jane: No my grandmother died from lung cancer.
Brian: That's all the more reason to toke up man! It'll ease the pain!

[Thurgood explains to the detective that they will seem less suspicious in an undercover sting if they are high.]
Brian: I just wanna say that that was a great idea, Thurgood. I mean how do you come up with...
[cut off]
Scarface: Just smoke it, yo.

Brian: I'll pretend I'm jamaican man! Yeah!
Thurgood: You have smoked yourself retarded!

[Kenny is on his way out to get munch]
Kenny: Hey, if I`m not back in 10 minutes call the police.
Thurgood: If hes not back in 10 minutes, we're calling Dominoes!

Brian: Lady, you want seven bucks for a used Kenny Loggins record? I'll give you five.
Woman: Uh-uh. He autographed it himself...
Brian: Okay, I'll give you four.

Scientist: Janitor? Uh, janitor?
[taps Thurgood, who gets frightened]
Thurgood: Ah! Oh..sorry 'bout that. What is it, scientist?
Scientist: I know this isn't your responsibility but, uh, could you be a dear and run this down to the supply department for me? It's on the second floor. [hands Thurgood a note]
Thurgood: Just run this down?
Scientist: Yes, but make sure you bring the order right back to me. I need it A.S.A.P.
Thurgood: Gotcha. Hey, I know this isn't your responsibility but just wipe the rest of this shit up [hands him a mop] I'll be right back.

Thurgood: Yea. Um, So how long's [your dad] been in [jail]?
Mary Jane: Four years next month.
Thurgood: Four years. And what exactly was he selling?
Mary Jane: Marijuana.
Thurgood: FOUR YEARS JUST FOR WEED?! DAMN!
Mary Jane: Just? No, no, no, no. Not just. Marijuana is terrible. It's a gateway drug. I mean, everybody knows that it leads to other stuff.
Thurgood: Yeah, mostly junk food.

Kenny: [to police horse] Hey girl, you hungry?
Overweight woman: [walking by] **** you, ****!

Samson: Delilah, get me "eight fourteen".
Delilah: [to another woman] Eight fourteen.
Thurgood: [whispers to Scarface and Brian] What the ****s "eight fourteen"?
[she pulls out a crossbow]
Thurgood: AH! I'm sorry y'all, I don't want to be the first **** to die from a crossbow.

[Thurgood when finished with work] Free!!