Tommy DeVito quotes from Goodfellas (1990)

Tommy DeVito

Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I'm free the next morning.

Tommy DeVito

Here's an arm. Hey, here's a leg. Here's a wing. Hey, what do you like, the leg or the wing, Henry? Or do you still go for the old hearts and lungs?

Tommy DeVito

What the **** are you doing? You're hanging around my ****in' neck like a vulture, like impending danger.

Tommy DeVito

You know Spider, you're a ****in' mumbling stuttering little prick. You know that?

Tommy DeVito

He said, "No, you're gonna tell me something today, tough guy." I said, "All right, I'll tell you something: Go **** your mother."

Tommy DeVito

I thought he'd never shut the **** up!

Tommy DeVito

What, do you got me on a ****in' pay-no-mind list kid?

Henry

You're a pisser, you're really funny. You're really funny.

Tommy

What do you mean I'm funny?

Henry

It's funny, you know. It's a good story, it's funny, you're a funny guy. [laughs]

Tommy

what do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?

Henry

It's just, you know. You're just funny, it's funny, the way you tell the story and everything.

Tommy

Funny how? What's funny about it?

Anthony

Tommy no, You got it all wrong.

Tommy

Oh, oh, Anthony. He's a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Funny how?

Henry

Just--

Tommy

What?

Henry

Just, ya know, you're funny.

Tommy

You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little **** up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to ****in' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

Henry

Just., you know, how you tell the story, what?

Tommy

No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the **** am I funny, what the **** is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny!

Henry

Get the **** out of here, Tommy!

Tommy

Ya mother****er! I almost had him, I almost had him. Ya stuttering prick, ya. Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning.

Tommy

Just don't go busting my balls, Billy, okay?

Billy Batts

Hey, Tommy, if I was gonna break your balls, I'd tell you to go home and get your shine box. [to his friends] Now this kid, this kid was great. They, they used to call him Spit Shine Tommy.

Tommy

No more shines Billy

Billy Batts

What?

Tommy

I said, no more shines Billy Maybe you didn't hear about it, you've been away a long time, I didn't go up, didn't tell ya.

Billy Batts

Ah..

Tommy

I don't shine shoes anymore.

Billy Batts

Relax, would ya. What's got into you? I haven't seen you in a long **** time, and I'm breaking your balls a little bit, I'm only kidding with ya.

Tommy

Well, sometimes you don't sound like you're kidding, you know, there's a lotta people here.

Billy Batts

I'm only kidding with ya.

Tommy

It's OK.

Billy Batts

I don't mean to offend you.

Tommy

I'm sorry.

Billy Batts

I'm sorry too.

Tommy

It's okay.

Billy Batts

Salut, Tommy.

Tommy

Can we get some drinks? Everybody, drinks on the house.

Billy Batts

Now go home and get your **** shine box.

Tommy

Mother****in' mutt! You big piece of shit! You big ****in' tough guy!

Tommy

****in' Drop-along Cassidy.

Spider

Why don't you go **** yourself, Tommy?

Jimmy

Whoa! I don't believe what I'm hearing. Check out the balls on this kid. Hey Spider, this is for you. [tosses money on the table] That's the way. You don't take no shit from nobody. Tommy, you gonna let him get away with that? What's the matter with you? What's the world comin' to?

Tommy

That's what the **** world is comin' to.

Jimmy

What is the matter with you, huh? What is the **** matter with you?! What are you, a **** sick maniac or something?! Tommy, I'm kidding with you.

Tommy

Kidding? How am I meant to know you're kidding? You're breaking my **** balls.

Jimmy

I'm **** kidding with you, you **** shoot the guy?

Henry

He's dead.

Tommy

I'm a good shot, what do you want from me? I'm a good shot.

Anthony

How could you miss at this distance?

Jimmy

You dumb bastard, I can't **** believe you. You're gonna dig the hole.

Tommy

Fine, I'll dig the **** hole. I don't give a ****. What, is this the first hole I ever dug? Where are the shovels?

What time is it?

Tommy

It's eleven thirty, we're supposed to be there by nine.

Be ready in a minute.

Tommy

Yeah, you were always ****in' late, you'd be late for your own ****in' funeral. (Shoots Stacks in the head)

Karen

Well we weren't married to 9 to 5 guys but the first time I realized how different was when Mickey had a hostess party. They had bad skin and wore too much makeup I mean, they didn't look very good. They looked beat up. And the stuff they wore was thrown together and cheap. A lot of pant suits and double-knits. And they talked about how rotten their kids were and about beating them with broom handles and leather belts, that the kids still didn't pay any attention. When Henry picked me up I was dizzy. [later in her bedroom] I don't know, I don't know if i could live like that. God forbid, what would happen if you had to go to prison?

Henry

Karen! [laughs]

Karen

Vicki said that Jeannie's husband-

Henry

You know why Jeannie's husband went to the can? Because of Jeannie! Because he wanted to get away from her that's why! Let me tell you something; nobody goes to jail unless they want to. Unless they make themselves get caught. They don't have things organized. I know what I'm doing, I got things organized with these guys. You know who goes to jail? **** stick-up men, that's who. You know why they get caught? Because they fall asleep in the get-away car, Karen. Come on, don't worry so much sweetie. Come here.

Karen

After a while, it got to be all normal. None of it seemed like crime. It was more like Henry was enterprising, and that he and the guys were making a few bucks hustling, while all the other guys were sitting on their asses, waiting for handouts. Our husbands weren't brain surgeons, they were blue-collar guys. The only way they could make extra money, real extra money, was to go out and cut a few corners.

Tommy

Where's the strongbox, you ****in' varmint?!

Karen

We were all so very close. I mean, there were never any outsiders around. Absolutely never. And being together all the time made everything seem all the more normal.

Tommy

Just don't go bustin' my balls, Billy, okay?

Billy

Hey, Tommy, if I was gonna break your balls, I'd tell you to go home and get your shine box. [to his friends] Now this kid, this kid was great. They, they used to call him Spitshine Tommy. I swear to God! Now he'd make your shoes look like ****in' mirrors. 'Scuse my language. He was terrific, he was the best. He made a lot of money, too. Salud, Tommy!

Tommy

No more shines, Billy.

Billy

What?

Tommy

I said no more shines. Maybe you didn't hear about it, you've been away a long time; they didn't go up there and tell you. I don't shine shoes anymore.

Billy

Relax, will ya? You flipped right out, what's got into you? I'm breakin' your balls a little bit, that's all. I'm only kiddin' with ya.

Tommy

Sometimes you don't sound like you're kidding, you know? There's a lotta people around...

Billy

Tommy, I'm only kiddin' with you. We're having a party and I just came home, and I haven't seen you in a long time, and I'm breakin' your balls, and right away you're getting ****in' fresh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.

Tommy

I'm sorry too. It's okay. No problem.

Billy

Okay, salud. [moment of silence as he takes a drink] Now go home and get ya ****in' shinebox!

Tommy

MOTHER****IN' MUTT! YOU, YOU ****IN' PIECE OF SHIT...! [Henry and Jimmy restrain him]

Billy

Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, come on! Come on! Let him go!

Tommy

Henry, he bought his ****in' button! That fake old tough guy! You bought your ****in' button! Keep that mother****er here, keep him here! [leaves]

Tommy

Hey Henry, Henry, hurry up, will ya? My mother's gonna make some fresh peppers and sausages for us.

Jimmy

Oh hey, Henry, Henry, here's an arm!

Henry

Very funny, guys.

Jimmy

Here's a leg.

Tommy

Here's a wing! [laughing] Whaddya like, the leg or the wing, Henry? Or do you still go for the ol' hearts and lungs?

Henry

Oh, that's so bad.

Tommy

Hey, Spider, that bandage on your foot is bigger than your **** head. Next thing you know he's gonna have one of these **** walkers. But you can still dance. Give us a couple of **** steps, Spider. You **** bullshitter, you. Tell the truth. You're looking for sympathy, is that it, sweetie?

Spider

Why don't you go **** yourself, Tommy?

Jimmy

I didn't hear right. I can't believe what I heard. [giving Spider cash] This is for you. Attaboy! I got respect for this kid, he's got a lot of **** balls. Good for you! Don't take no shit off nobody! A guy shoots him in the foot, he tells him to go **** himself. Tommy, you gonna let him get away with that? You gonna let this **** punk get away with that? What's the matter with you? What's the world coming to?!

Tommy

That's what the **** world's coming to, how do ya like that? How's that, all right?

Jimmy

What's the matter with you?! What is the **** matter with you?! What, are you stupid or what?! I was kidding with you. You a **** sick maniac?

Tommy

I don't know if you're kidding! What do you mean, you're kidding? You breaking my **** balls?!

Jimmy

I'm **** kidding with you, you **** shoot the guy?!

Henry

He's dead.

Tommy

I'm a good shot, what do you want from me?

Anthony

How could you miss at this distance?

Tommy

You got a problem with what I did, Anthony? **** rat, anyway. His whole family's all rats, he'd have grown up to be a rat.

Jimmy

Stupid bastard, I can't **** believe you. Now, you're gonna dig the **** thing now. You're gonna dig the hole. You gonna do it. I got no **** lime, you gonna do it.

Tommy

Who the **** cares? I'll dig the **** hole, I don't give a ****. What is it, the first hole I ever dug? Not the first time I dug a hole, I'll dig the **** hole. Where are the shovels?