Good Morning, Vietnam quotes

View Quote Dickerson: [Pointing to his rank insignia] What does three up and three down mean to you, Airman?
Adrian: End of an inning?

View Quote Adrian: Is it true that you're actually-- that you're actually too close to some of the nerve agents they were testing?
Adrian as Gomer: Nerve... uh, gas?
Adrian: Yes, have you used any?
Adrian as Gomer: Well, once, yes, on myself. And it had no-- WOAH! WOAH! No effect on me. I've had no actual-- WOAH! SHE-HOO! WOAH! WOAH! Big dogs! Big dogs landing on my face!
Adrian: I don't know what that means.

View Quote Hauk: Where you do imagine you're going?
Adrian: Just gonna get a little something to eat.
Hauk: You don't have time. You'll stay here and drink instant beverages or something. We promised our listening audience Nixon highlights by 4 PM.
Adrian: I've been on the air for four hours. I'm a little hungry.
Hauk: That's a joke, right? I get it.
Adrian: Nooo, I'm actually hungry
Hauk: Well I'm actually giving you an order. [Walks out.]
Adrian: Oh it's an order. In that case gentlemen. Let's edit.

View Quote Nixon: Therefore, there is no place for neutrality or a neutralist sentiment in South Vietnam. As I leave Vietnam today there is no doubt, certainly, in my mind that the Viet Cong will be defeated and this war will be won. Asia does involve, I think, very appropriately as you have suggested, give and take.
Adrian: Well I-- I really didn't make that suggestion, sir, I'm sorry.
Nixon: The United States has no right to give--
Hauk: Why would Cronauer's voice be on this tape?
Abersold: I don't know, Lieutenant.
Nixon: --territory to the communists.
Adrian: Mr. Nixon, thank you for that concise political commentary, but I think I'd like to delve into something slightly more personal for the men in the field. How would you describe your testicles?
[Hauk turns to the radio in horror]
Nixon: That they're soft, and that they're shallow and they have no purpose.
Hauk: Oh, my God.
Adrian: What are you saying, sir?
Hauk: Oh, my God.
Nixon: That they lack the physical strength.
Adrian: How would you describe your sex life with your wife Pat?
Nixon: It is unexciting sometimes.
Adrian: Well, have you considered, possibly, a sex change. There is an operation that can transform you
Hauk: Please don't do this to me. Please don't do this to me.
Adrian: --into a female Great Dane or possibly a very well hung Chihuahua. Mr. Nixon, while you've been in Vietnam, its rumored that you've smoked marijuana. Are you planning to take some of the marijuana home back to the United States? How would you do that?
Nixon: By plane. By helicopter and also by automobile.

View Quote Hauk: Sir, the man has got an irreverent tendency. He did a very off-color parody of former VP Nixon.
General: I thought it was hilarious.
Hauk: Respectfully, sir, the former VP is a good man and a decent man.
General: Bullshit! I know Nixon personally. He lugs a trainload of shit behind him that would fertilize the Sinai. Why, I wouldn't buy an apple from the son of a bitch and I consider him a good, close, personal friend.

View Quote Tuan: Yes. Come. We go.
Adrian: You sound like you leaned English from Tonto. "Come. We go." OK.

View Quote [Adrian sees the story about the bombing that he witnessed and he starts taking it to the control room, going past the two censors]
Censor #1: What do you think you're doing? You know you're forbidden to read anything not checked by this office.
Adrian: What's there to check? I was there.
Censor #1: Airman, you know the rules. If this is a legitimate news story, it must go through proper channels.
Adrian: Listen, Tweedledee, it's an actual event. [referring to the blood on his shirt] What do you think this came from? Shaving? It's the truth. I just want to report the truth. It'll be a nice change of pace.
Dickerson: What's going on here?
Adrian: Sir, will you listen to me?
Dickerson: [reads the story] This is not official news, airman. As far as I'm concerned, it didn't happen.
Adrian: It did happen.
Dickerson: You shut your mouth!
Adrian: What are you afraid of Dickerson? People might find out there's a war going on?
Dickerson: This news is not official.
Adrian: You want everyone going under the assumption it's perfectly safe here, don'tcha? Well, it's not. The fighting's not just in the hills, it's downtown. It's a couple of ****ing BLOCKS!
Dickerson: I SAID IT IS NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS!
Adrian: I see your point. I'm sorry. I guess I get inside, hit these air conditioners, I get a little dizzy. Thanks for setting me straight.

View Quote Phil: Is he all right?
Garlick: No, Phil, he's not all right. A man does not refer to Pat Boone as a beautiful genius if things are all right.

View Quote Garlick: Gentlemen! Hey guys, guess who the hell I got in here.
Man 1: Groucho Marx!
Man 2: Senator Dirksen.
Man 3: Curly!
Garlick: Come on. Come on, come on, come on! Guess again.
Adrian: Oh bag it, bag it, Garlick.
Garlick: The fellow I got in here is the gentleman, the one and the only
Adrian: Oh, you're a dead man.
Garlick: The king of the airwaves, Adrian Cronauer.

View Quote [Once again, Garlick attempts to start the already started car]
Adrian: Staggers the imagination.
Garlick: Makes me unique, doesn't it?
Adrian: What a plus.

View Quote Adrian: You could get in trouble for that.
Garlick: I requisitioned for a name change. Trouble is actually my new middle name.