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Ray "Bones" Barboni: Chili Palmer. Chilly outside. Chili inside. It's a regular ****in' chili-fest. Hey, waiter, give Mr Chili Pepper a big ****in' bowl of chili!

Ray "Bones" Barboni: Yeah well, I hope you drive better than you ****ing spell, jack-off. My name is Barboni, not Barbone, okay!

Ray "Bones" Barboni: They say the ****ing smog is the ****ing reason you have such beautiful ****ing sunsets.

Martin: I'm glad you rejected me ten years ago when I auditioned for Eddie Solomon, the pedophile clown in Birthday Boy. Had I gotten the part. I might've gotten typecast.

Bo Catlett: There's nothin' to know. You have an idea, you write down what you wanna say. Then you get somebody to add in the commas and shit where they belong, if you aren't positive yourself. Maybe fix up the spelling where you have some tricky words... although I've seen scripts where I know words weren't spelled right and there was hardly any commas in it at all. So I don't think it's too important. Anyway, you come to the last page you write in 'Fade out' and that's the end, you're done.

Chili: So what're you tellin' me, you're never gonna go to sleep again?
Tommy: No, I said I'm never goin' to bed. There's a difference. See, the article says most people die in their beds. I figure long as I stay outta bed, I'm safe.

Ray "Bones": You got a miss. Leo Devoe. Guy's six weeks over.
Chili: He died.
Ray "Bones": How'd you know he died, he tell you?

Ray "Bones": Which also means when I speak, I'm speakin' for Jimmy. So e.g. as of now, you start affording me the proper respect.
Chili: 'E.g.' means 'for example', Ray. I think what you wanna say is 'i.e.'
Ray "Bones": Bullshit. E.g. is short for 'ergo'.
Chili: Ask your man here.
Mob Guy: Best a my knowledge, e.g. means 'for example.'
Ray "Bones": E.g., i.e., **** you. The point is, I say jump, you say okay. Okay?

Chili: What is this?
Attendant: An Oldsmobile Silhouette.
Chili: I reserved a Cadillac.
Attendant: Yeah, well, this one's the Cadillac of minivans.

Chili: Harry Zimm, how you doing? I'm Chili Palmer.
Harry: Jesus, if I have a heart attack, I hope you know what to do.
Chili: Where you been, Harry?
Harry: Have we met? I don't recall.
Chili: We just did. I told you my name's Chili Palmer.

Chili: Harry, look at me.
Harry: I'm looking at you.
Chili: I want you to keep looking right here, okay?
Harry: That's what I'm doing.

Chili: Martin Weir. He played the mob guy that turned snitch in "The Cyclone".
Harry: One of his best parts.
Chili: No, his best part was the cripple gay guy that climbed Mt. Whitney.
Harry: "Ride the Clouds". Good picture.

Chili: So you're thinking what if I was to put you next to my dry cleaner. Ask him if he wants to invest his money in a movie.
Harry: That, or I'm thinking what if some tragic accident were to befall the widow Saffrin...
Chili: I'm not gonna pop her, Harry.
Harry: Just a thought.

Chili: You have a piece of a movie, that's all. You don't have a piece of Harry. He told you we're doing another movie first. And that's the way it's gonna be.
Ronnie: Excuse me. But who the **** are you?
Chili: I'm the one telling you how it is. That's not too hard to figure out, is it?

Chili: Hey... Karen. How ya' doin'?
Karen: What're you doing here?
Chili: I wanted to come by, apologise for coming into your house like I did last night.
Karen: Lemme get this straight, you broke in again to apologize for breaking in before?
Chili: No, no... you let the patio door open. You gotta stop doin' that, all the nice things you got around here.

Chili: You read Harry's new one? He says it's the best thing he's ever read.
Karen: He must mean after "Slime Creature 3".

Chili: I was never much into it. All that bullshit having to do with respect. It's bad enough having to treat those guys like they're your heroes, having to smile when they make some stupid remark they think's real funny.
Karen: And you think the movie business is any different?

Doris: What a spectacular view.
Harry: Yeah, lovely. Last night I watched two guys carjack a Camero down on the corner of Argyle there.

Chili: Martin, look at me.
Martin: I'm looking at you.
Chili: No, I want you to look at me the way I'm looking at you. Put it in your eyes, 'You're mine, asshole,' without saying it.
Martin: Like this?
Chili: What you're telling me, you're tired? You wanna go to bed?
Martin: Wait. How about this?
Chili: Now you're squinting like you need glasses. Look at me. I'm thinking, You're mine. I ****in' own you. What I'm not doing is feeling anything about it one way or the other. You understand? You're not a person to me, you're a name in my collection book, a guy owes me money, that's all.
Martin: How about this?
Chili: That's not bad.
Martin: That's what I think of you, asshole. Nothing.
Chili: I believe it.

Cabbie: You ever wanta go to the beach, here's the freeway you take we're coming to.
Ray "Bones": I live in Miami and you want to show me a ****in' beach? The sun ever come out here, or you have this smog all the time?
Cabbie: They say the smog's the reason we have such beautiful sunsets.

Escobar: Now why would you do that? Put the money in a locker?
Bo Catlett: Because there were a zillion DEA guys hanging around the terminal.
Escobar: A zillion, huh? That's a lot.

Ronnie: The man you're steppin' on belongs to me and my partner.
Ray "Bones": He owes me money.
Ronnie: Get in line, bro.
Ray "Bones": I don't like waiting.
Ronnie: Tough shit, bro. This ain't Miami. You want something, talk to me.
Ray "Bones": Hey, ****ball, I don't need your permission. L.A.'s an open city.
Ronnie: Yeah, well, I just closed it.

Bear: You see the paper?
Bo catlett: I seen it, but I don't believe it. Says Harry shot Ronnie five times. Four to the chest and one through his foot.
Bear: His foot. Jeez, poor Ronnie...

Chili: What kinda food they serve at this Ivy place anyway?
Karen: Continental, but it doesn't matter. Martin won't order from the menu.
Chili: Why not?
Karen: Because a movie star can never order straight from the menu. They have to think of something they have to have that isn't on the menu.

Chili: You don't need that. You want to sit down and talk, it's fine with me. Get this straightened out. How'd you get in here?
Ray "Bones": I told them I was you. I acted stupid and they believed me.

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