Fuck you Cowboy, fuck all of you assholes!

[being interviewed] What do I think about the U.S. involvement in the war? We should win it.

Crazy Earl: These are great days we're living, bros. We are jolly green giants, walking the Earth with guns. These people we wasted here today are the finest human beings we will ever know. After we rotate back to the world, we're gonna miss not having anyone around that's worth shooting.

Animal Mother: You a photographer?
Sergeant Joker: I'm a combat correspondent.
Animal Mother: Well you seen much combat?
Sergeant Joker: I've seen a little on TV.
Animal Mother: You're a real comedian.
Sergeant Joker: Well they call me the Joker.
Animal Mother: Well I got a joke for you. I'm gonna tear you a new asshole.
Sergeant Joker: Well pilgrim, only after you eat the peanuts out of my shit.
Animal Mother: You talk the talk. Do you walk the walk?

Get up here, fatboy! Quickly! Move it up! Move it up, Pyle! Move it up! You climb obstacles like old people fuck. Do you know that, Private Pyle? Get up here! You're too slow! Move it, move it! Private Pyle, whatever you do, don't fall down! That would break my fucking heart!

Are you quitting on me? Well, are you?! Then quit you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! Now! Move it! I'm gonna rip your balls off so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo!

Pick 'em up and set 'em down, Pyle!

Were you born a fat slimy scumbag, puke piece of shit, Private Pyle? Or did you have to work on it?

Do you feel dizzy? Do you feel faint? Jesus H. Christ, I think you've got a hard-on!

The deadliest weapon in the world is a Marine and his rifle. It is your killer instinct which must be harnessed if you expect to survive in combat. Your rifle is only a tool. It is a hard heart that kills. If your killer instincts are not clean and strong you will hesitate at the moment of truth. You will not kill. You will become dead Marines. And then you will be in a world of shit. Because Marines are not allowed to die without permission! Do you maggots understand?

[narrating] Parris Island, South Carolina. The Marine Corps Training Depot. An eight-week college for the phony tough and the crazy brave.

[narrating] The dead have been covered with lime. The dead know only one thing: it is better to be alive.

[narrating] My thoughts drift back to erect nipple wet dreams about Mary Jane Rottencrotch and the Great Homecoming Fuck Fantasy. I am so happy that I am alive, in one piece, and short. I'm in a world of shit... yes. But I am alive. And I am not afraid.

Ya know, half of these gook whores are serving officers in the Viet Cong; the other half have got T.B. Be sure you only fuck the ones that cough.

[jokingly] A day without blood is like a day without sunshine.