Four Weddings And A Funeral

Four Weddings And A Funeral quotes

68 total quotes (ID: 703)

Carrie Quotes
Charles Quotes
Fiona Quotes
Gareth Quotes
Main Characters
Matthew Quotes
Minor Characters Quotes
Scarlett Quotes
THE Classic Quote
Tom Quotes


In the name of the father, the son and the holy goat. Eh... ghost.



George the boor at The Boatman: I was at school with his brother Bufty. Tremendous bloke. He was head of my house. Buggered me senseless. Still, it taught me a thing or two about life.

Charles: Any idea who the girl in the black hat is? Fiona: The name's Carrie. Charles: Pretty. Fiona: American. Charles: Interesting. Fiona: Slut. Charles: Really? Fiona: Used to work at Vogue. Lives in America now. Only gets out with very glamorous people. Quite out of your league. Charles: Well, that's a relief. Thanks.

Charles: Sorry.. look. Sorry, sorry. I just, ehm, well, this is a very stupid question and... , particularly in view of our recent shopping excursion, but I just wondered, by any chance, ehm, eh, I mean obviously not because I guess I've only slept with 9 people, but-but I-I just wondered... ehh. I really feel, ehh, in short, to recap it slightly in a clearer version, eh, the words of David Cassidy in fact, eh, while he was still with the Partridge family, eh, "I think I love you," and eh, I-I just wondered by any chance you wouldn't like to... Eh... Eh... No, no, no of course not... I'm an idiot, he's not... Excellent, excellent, fantastic, eh, I was gonna say lovely to see you, sorry to disturb... Better get on... Carrie: That was very romantic. Charles: Well, I thought it over a lot, you know, I wanted to get it just right.

Tom: Splendid, I thought. What did you think? Bernard: I, thought, splendid! What did you think? Tom: Splendid, I thought.

Charles: What turn off? Better not be the B359. Scarlett: It's the B359. Charles: **** it!

Henrietta: Charles! Charles, we must talk. Charles: Right. Henrietta: The thing is, Charlie, l've spoken to lots of people about you. Everybody agrees you're in real trouble, Charles. Charles: Am l? Henrietta: You see, you're turning into a kind of serial monogamist. One girlfriend after another, yet you never really let anyone near you. On the contrary... You're affectionate to them and sweet to them. Even to me, although you thought I was an idiot. Charles: I did not. Henrietta: You did. I thought U2 was a type of submarine. Charles: In a way, you were right. Their music has a naval quality. Henrietta: Be serious, Charles. Give people a chance. You don't have to think 'I must get married', but you mustn't start every relationship thinking 'I mustn't get married'. Charles: Most of the time I don't think at all. I just potter along. Henrietta: Charlie! Oh, God! The way you used to look at me! I just misread it, that's all. I thought you were going to propose and you were just working out how to leave.

Carrie: Having a good night? Charles: Yes. It's right up there with my father's funeral for sheer entertainment value.

Charles: Yes, it's odd, isn't it? All these years we've been single and proud of it and never noticed that two of us were, in effect, married all this time. Tom: Traitors in our midst.

Charles: Thinking they're running really late Time. Matthew: Honestly? Charles: Yes! Time! Matthew: It's about ten to nine. Charles runs off, realises what Matthew said and returns to the car Charles: Bastards.

Charles: Perhaps we should've got married. Henrietta: No! I'd have had to marry your friends, and I'm not sure I could take Fiona. Charles: Fiona loves you. Henrietta: Fiona calls me Duckface. Charles: Well, I never heard that.


Fiona: How's Duckface? Charles: Good form actually, not too mad.

Charles: How do you do, my name is Charles. Old man: Don't be ridiculous, Charles died 20 years ago! Charles: Must be a different Charles, I think. Old man: Are you telling me I don't know my own brother! Charles: No, no.

Charles: All these weddings, all these years, all that blasted salmon and champagne and here I am on my own wedding day, and I'm... eh... em... eh... still thinking. Matthew: Well, can I ask about what? Charles: No... no... I think, best not.

Charles: Do you think there really are people who can just go up and say, "Hi, babe. Name's Charles. This is your lucky night"? Matthew: Well, if there are, they're not English.