[Narrator's bags have just been confiscated]
Narrator: Was it ticking?
Airport Security Officer: Actually, throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.
Narrator: Sorry, throwers?
Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.
Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating?
Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor. But ... every once in a while [looks around, leans in conspiratorially] ... it's a dildo. [leans back] Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article, "a dildo", never ... your dildo.
Narrator: I don't own a dildo!
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