Narrator quotes

I'd like to thank the Academy ...

People are always asking me if I know Tyler Durden.

I can't think of anything.

Put a gun to my head and paint the walls with my brains.

I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all those French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke.

I felt like destroying something beautiful.

After fighting, everything else in your life got the volume turned down. You could deal with anything.

And I used to be such a nice guy.

A guy who came to Fight Club for the first time – his ass was a wad of cookie dough. After a few weeks, he was carved out of wood.

If you woke up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?

With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels.

On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

For six months I couldn't sleep. With insomnia, nothing's real. Everything is far away. Everything is a copy ... of a copy ... of a copy.

How embarrassing. A house full of condiments and no food.

We all started seeing things differently. Everywhere we went, we were sizing things up. I felt sorry for guys who packed into gyms, trying to look like how Calvin Klein or Tommy Hilfiger said they should.

This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.

Losing all hope was freedom.

... when you buy furniture, you tell yourself: that's it, that's the last sofa I'm gonna need. No matter what else happens, I've got that sofa problem handled. I had it all. I had a stereo that was very decent, a wardrobe that was getting very respectable. I was so close to being complete.

It was beautiful: we were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them.

That old saying, how you always hurt the one you love? Well, look, it works both ways.

You can swallow a pint of blood before you get sick.

We used to read pornography. Now it was the Horchow collection.

Marla Singer: she's like the scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal if you would just stop tonguing it, but you can't.

Marla's philosophy of life is that she might die at any moment. The tragedy, she said, is that she didn't.

You had to give it to him – he had a plan. And it started to make sense, in a Tyler sort of way. No fear, no distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter ... truly slide.

This is Bob. Bob had bitch tits.

I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.

I am Jack's smirking revenge.

I am Jack's wasted life.

I am Jack's inflamed sense of rejection.

I am Jack's broken heart.

I am Jack's raging bile duct.

I am Jack's cold sweat.

It was right on everyone's face. Tyler and I just made it visible. It was in the tip of everyone's tongue. Tyler and I just gave it a name.

You met me at a very strange time in my life.

Well, you're not gonna believe this ...

If you ask me now, I couldn't tell you why I called him.

Ah ... that really hurts ... hit me again.

[From theatrical PSA] Remember, no one has the right to touch you in your bathing-suit area.

If I had a tumour, I'd name it Marla.

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