Ferris Bueller's Day Off quotes

84 total quotes

Jeanie Bueller
Multiple Characters
Sloane Peterson

View Quote Ferris: Cameron? How many miles did you say this thing had when we left?
Cameron: One hundred and twenty six and halfway between three and four tenths. Why? How many miles are on it now? [glances at odometer, which reads 301.7 miles]
Ferris: [to audience] Here's where Cameron goes berserk.
[Cameron screams, which can be heard all aroun Chicago]

View Quote This is my ninth sick day this semester. It's getting pretty tough coming up with new illnesses. If I go for ten, I'm probably gonna have to barf up a lung. So I better make this one count.

View Quote [thinking to herself] Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe Ferris isn't such a bad guy. After all, I got a car. He got a computer. But still, why should he get to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants? Why should everything work out for him? What makes him so god damn special? [out loud] Screw him.

View Quote Hey, remember how mad he got when I broke my retainer? Come on, that was just a little piece of plastic. This is a Ferrari.

View Quote [to audience] Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.

View Quote [Speaking about his parents:] They bought it. Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second.

View Quote Boy in Police Station: There's someone you should talk to.
Jeannie: If you say Ferris Bueller, you lose a testicle.
Boy in Police Station: Oh, you know him?

View Quote Ferris: What's he doing?
Sloane: He's licking the glass and making obscene gestures with his hands.

View Quote Look, don't make me participate in your stupid crap if you don't like the way I do it! You make me get out of bed. You make me come over. You make me make a phony phone call to Edward Rooney? The man could squash my nuts into oblivion. And, and, and then, and then, you deliberately hurt my feelings.

View Quote [speaking to the police] There is an intruder--male, Caucasian, possibly armed, certainly weird--in my kitchen. M-my-my-my name is Bueller. Look, it's real nice that you hope my brother is feeling better, but I'm in danger, okay? I am very cute, very alone and very protective of my body. I don't want it violated or killed, all right?! I need help! Speak any English?! Dick head!

View Quote He's gonna marry me.

View Quote Snooty Waiter: I'm suggesting that you leave,... before I have to get snooty!

View Quote Ed Rooney: Between grief and nothing... I'll take grief.
Sloane: Great.

View Quote Snooty Waiter: I weep for the future.

View Quote Dry that one out, you can fertilize the lawn.