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[speaking to the police] There is an intruder--male, Caucasian, possibly armed, certainly weird--in my kitchen. M-my-my-my name is Bueller. Look, it's real nice that you hope my brother is feeling better, but I'm in danger, okay? I am very cute, very alone and very protective of my body. I don't want it violated or killed, all right?! I need help! Speak any English?! Dick head!

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