Mary: It's not that we don't believe you, honey.
Elliott: Well, it was real, I swear...
Michael: Maybe it was an iguana.
Elliott: It was no iguana.
Michael: Maybe a, a, you know how they say there are alligators in the sewers.
Gertie: Alligators in the sewers.
Mary: All we're trying to say is, 'Maybe you just probably imagined it.'
Elliott: I couldn't have imagined it!
Michael: Maybe it was a pervert, a deformed kid or something?
Gertie: A deformed kid.
Michael: Maybe an elf or a leprechaun?
Elliott: It was nothing like that, penis breath!
Mary: Elliott! Sit down.
Elliott: Dad would believe me.
Mary: Maybe you ought to call your father and tell him about it.
Elliott: I can't. He's in Mexico with Sally.
Gertie: Where's Mexico?
Mary: Excuse me. [leaves the table and walks to the window]
Michael: [softly to Elliott] I'm gonna kill you.
Mary: If you ever see it again, whatever it is, don't touch it. Just call me and we'll have somebody come and take it away.
Gertie: Like the dogcatcher?
Elliott: They'll give it to a lobotomy or do experiments on it or something.
Mary: It's your turn to do the dishes, fellas.
Michael: I set and cleared.
Elliott: I set and cleared.
Michael: [quickly] I did breakfast.
Gertie: I did breakfast.
Mary: [slams a pot down on the sideboard] He hates Mexico.
Michael: [to Elliott] Damn it! Why don't you grow up? Think about how other people feel for a change!
Copy quote link to Clipboard
  »   More Quotes from
  »   More Quotes from
  »   Back to the