Ed Masry quotes

Do they teach beauty queens how to apologize? Because you suck at it!

Theresa Dallavale: Okay, look, I think we got off on the wrong foot here...
Erin Brockovich: That's all you got, lady. Two wrong feet and ****ing ugly shoes.

Ed Masry: What makes you think you can just walk in there and take whatever you want?
Erin Brockovich: They're called boobs, Ed.

Kurt Potter: Wha... how did you do this?
Erin Brockovich: Well, um, seeing as how I have no brains or legal expertise, and Ed here was losing all faith in the system, am I right?
Ed Masry: Oh, yeah, completely. No faith, no faith...
Erin Brockovich: I just went out there and performed sexual favors. Six hundred and thirty-four blow jobs in five days... I'm really quite tired.

Ed Masry: In a law firm you may want to re-think your wardrobe a little.
Erin Brockovich: Well Ed, I think I look nice. And as long as I have one ass instead of two I'll wear what I like if that's all right with you? You might want to re-think those ties.

[At the meeting with the PG & E lawyers]
Ms. Sanchez: Let's be honest here. $20 million dollars is more money then these people have ever dreamed of.
Erin Brockovich: Oh see, now that pisses me off. First of all, since the demur we have more than 400 plaintiffs and... let's be honest, we all know there are more out there. They may not be the most sophisticated people but they do know how to divide and $20 million isn't shit when you split it between them. Second of all, these people don't dream about being rich. They dream about being able to watch their kids swim in a pool without worrying that they'll have to have a hysterectomy at the age of twenty. Like Rosa Diaz, a client of ours. Or have their spine deteriorate, like Stan Blume, another client of ours. So before you come back here with another lame ass offer, I want you to think real hard about what your spine is worth, Mr. Walker. Or what you might expect someone to pay you for your uterus, Ms. Sanchez. Then you take out your calculator and you multiply that number by a hundred. Anything less than that is a waste of our time.
[Ms. Sanchez picks up a glass of water]
Erin Brockovich: By the way, we had that water brought in especially for you folks. Came from a well in Hinkley.
Ms. Sanchez: [Eyes the water warily and sets the glass back down] I think this meeting is over.
Ed Masry: Damn right it is.

George: How many numbers you got?
Erin Brockovich: Oh, I got numbers comin' outta my ears. For instance: ten.
George: Ten?
Erin Brockovich: Yeah. That's how many months old my baby girl is.
George: You got a little girl?
Erin Brockovich: Yeah. Yeah, sexy, huh? How 'bout this for a number? Six. That's how old my other daughter is, eight is the age of my son, two is how many times I've been married -- and divorced; sixteen is the number of dollars I have in my bank account. 850-3943. That's my phone number, and with all the numbers I gave you, I'm guessing zero is the number of times you're gonna call it.

Erin Brockovich: Isn't it funny how some people go out of their way to help others, when others just fire them?
Ed Masry: Look, I'm sorry but you were gone for a week. I assumed you were off having fun.
Erin Brockovich: Oh, and why the hell would you assume that?
Ed Masry: I don't know. You look like someone who likes to have fun.
Erin Brockovich: Oh, so by that standard I should assume that you never get laid.
Ed Masry: I'm married!
[after a pause]
Ed Masry: Look. What is this all about?
Erin Brockovich: Do you want to know? Then you'll have to hire me back. I've got a ton of bills to pay.
Ed Masry: Fine! Fine!

Ed Masry: This is a whole different ball game. A much bigger deal.
Erin Brockovich: Kind of like David and whats-his-name.
Ed Masry: Kind of like David and whats-his-name's whole ****ing family.

Ed Masry: I'd love to help, Erin, but I'm sorry, I have a full staff right now, so...
Erin Brockovich: Bullshit. If you had a full staff, this office would return a client's damn phone calls.

Donna Jensen: You're a lawyer?
Erin Brockovich: NO, no... I hate lawyers. I only work for them.

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