Epic Movie

Epic Movie quotes

49 total quotes (ID: 191)

Edward
Lucy
Multiple Characters


White Bitch: I hate those ****ing kids.


Paris Hilton look-alike: I'm so hot. [yells as she gets crushed by a falling Susan, who was thrown off the plane]

Mr. Tumnus : Screw Gnarnia!

White Bitch: The kids have esca-pe-d.

Ashton Kutcher look-a-like: Yes! *jumps in with camera crew* Yes! You just got Punk'd! Yes! Yes! Yeah, he did it! He did it! C'mere, say it to the camera! Say it to the camera, c'mon, say it right there! *Edward stutters* Say it!
Edward: I-I just... I just got Punk'd.
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: Ah, schwow!
*Change to Punk'd-like skit*:
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: *making exaggerated moves mocking Ashton Kutcher's Punk'd skits* Yeah! We just Punk'd Edward! Schwow! Schwow! Yeah! That was awesome! Yeah! Yes! This thing, up here, it's all me, baby! The trucker hat! That's awesome! I did it! You love it! You'll take it! Punk'd him!
*Change back to previous scene*:
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: *gibbering excitedly still over the joke* Oh, my gosh, that was really funny, oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! *he continues*
Edward: *yells in fury, Ashton still gibbering* Dude, you are so annoying!! *Punches Ashton, knocking him down and shutting him up*
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: *gets up after a few seconds, resuming his gibberish and his crazy movements* But oh, my gosh! That was really funny! *he continues*
Edward: *keeps punching him, Ashton replying with a "Schwow!" with every punch, until Ashton falls over* Corny-ass trucker hat!
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: *flicks snow up at Edward in a childish manner* Schwow! Schwow....

White Bitch: Behold, my white castle. [she points to a White Castle restaurant across from them]
Edward: White Castle? I think I've been there before.

Willy: Children, do you wanna know what makes all my candy taste so special?
Edward: Uh-huh.
Willy: It's a special secret ingredient. It's real human parts. There's gonna be a little itty bitty piece of each and every one of you inside of the yummy yum candy, literally.

Edward: A chocolate river! Mmm! Mmm! Chocolate! Hahahaha!
Willy: That's actually the sewer line.

Peter: [about the frozen White Bitch] We will create a democratic society, and give her a fair trail, and-
[Jack Swallows comes rolling by on the wooden wheel and runs over the Bitch]
Captain Jack Swallows: Take that, Bitch!
Peter: [Pauses] Ah, screw her anyways.

Peter: We have something the White Bitch doesn't.
Lucy: Perky breasts?

Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: I have had it with these mother****ing snakes on this mother****ing plane!
Susan: Oh, I know, please help!
Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: I have had it with these mother****ing snakes on this mother****ing plane!
Susan: I know...
Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: I have had it with these mother****ing snakes on this mother****ing plane!
Susan: Why do you keep saying that?
Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: Because internet bloggers love when I say "I have had it with these mother****ing snakes on this mother****ing plane!". I'm Samuel mother****ing Jackson!

Captain Jack Swallows: I'll get you for this... you... you... Bitch!

"Harry Potter": Welcome! My name is Harry Potter!
Susan: Aren't you a little old to still be in school?
"Harry Potter": Nonsense. I am but fourteen. [he looks at least 30] As are my two best friends, Ron and Hermione.

Silas: (in Latin) Habeas corpus. E pluribus unum. (English subtitles) I'm gonna drop you like K-Fed!

[Peter removes his jacket and wing straps]
Cyclops: He's unleashing his powers!
Storm: He's gonna spread angel wings!
[Peter clucks like a chicken and turns around showing the small-sized wings on his back; everyone starts laughing]
Mystique: More like chicken wings!
Magneto: Break it up. Break it up. You all know Peter is too much of a pussy to stand up for himself.