Congressman Sam Albert: [on TV] We knew that we had to monitor our enemies. We've also come to realize that we need to monitor the people who are monitoring them...
Carla Dean: Well who's gonna monitor the monitors of the monitors?
Robert Clayton Dean: I wouldn't mind doing a little... "monitoring" myself.
Carla Dean: Yes, and you've got lots and lots of... "monitoring" to do.
Eric Dean: Are you guys talking about sex?

Edward "Brill" Lyle: In guerrilla warfare they taught us to use our weaknesses as strengths.
Robert Clayton Dean: Such as?
Edward "Brill" Lyle: If they're big and your little, then you're fast and they're slow. You're hidden and they're exposed. You fight only the battles you know you can win.

Robert Clayton Dean: Planning a quick getaway?
Edward "Brill" Lyle: Yeah. Ever since I met you.

Robert Clayton Dean: What the hell just happened?
Edward "Brill" Lyle: I blew up the building.
Robert Clayton Dean: Why?
Edward "Brill" Lyle: Because you made a phone call!

Thomas Brian Reynolds: What will it take for us to walk out of here with that video tape?
Boss Paulie Pintero: The end of the world.

[talking to wife on the way back from work] You're the only woman for me. You and Janet Jackson.

Actually, I believe the term "shyster" is reserved for attorneys of the Jewish persuasion. I believe the proper term for me is "eggplant".

Conspiracy theorists of the world unite.

If you live another day I'll be very impressed.

It's a brave new world out there. At least, it better be.

That's my blender.