Duplex quotes

41 total quotes (ID: 1032)

Alex Rose
Mrs. Connelly
Nancy Kendricks

[Reading a dictionary entry] 'Macaw: any long tailed, brightly-colored parrot.' A macaw is a parrot, I knew it!

It's horrible. My parents read this magazine. Now they know my penis is called Mr. Peabody!

She just manipulated me somehow. She's very crafty. She's a crafty old... lady.

Besides, how can I have time to rewrite my novel and still do my faithful servant duty to her as her little indentured servant person. Her little butt boy. I mean, I got a lot of duties, honey. She might need me to go out and count grapes with her, or help her fix her heater, or go take her to the laundry, or I got to go help her clean her banana skins, or I got to go clean out her garbage, and I got to go help her fill her monthlies out, or go and wipe her ass! God forbid she have any shit hanging off her ass! Because then I have to run up there double time like a little bunny, and I have to go up there with my little tissue and I have to go wipe her little ass and then I have to say "Oh, good for you, Mrs. Connelly. Good for you for having such a nice little poopie. What's that? You've got some poopie on your diapey? Well let me clean it off -- with my tongue!"

Hello, Mr. Peabody!

It's a pea****!

Are those musical instruments?

We forgot to christen the apartment.

What was she doing?

She puts on this sweet voice. "Nancy, could ya help meh, eh? I think I've found the leavings of a mouse!" Boo, hoo, hoo! As if she didn't know it was a raisin!

We'll finally be happy!

[Muffled sound of Mrs. Connelly's very loud TV] I saw myself in the mirror and I thought it was my mother's tush.

Tara: God, you're such a good squeezer, Nancy.

Herman: I don't want it tickety boo, I want it tickety now!

Officer Dan: It's my experience that wives don't accidentally shoot their husbands in the penis.