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Rufus T. Firefly


I'd be unworthy of the high trust that's been placed in me if I didn't do everything in my power to keep our beloved Freedonia at peace with the world. I'd be only too happy to meet with Ambassador Trentino and offer him on behalf of my country the right hand of good fellowship. And I feel sure he will accept this gesture in the spirit of which it is offered. But suppose he doesn't? A fine thing that'll be. I hold out my hand and he refuses to accept. That'll add a lot to my prestige, won't it? Me, the head of a country, snubbed by a foreign ambassador. Who does he think he is, that he can come here, and make a sap of me in front of all my people? Think of it! I hold out my hand and that hyena refuses to accept! Why, the cheap four-flushing swine! He'll never get away with it, I tell you! He'll never get away with it!


Trentino: You Swine!...You Worm!...You Upstart!
[Firefly slaps him with his glove]
Trentino: Mrs. Teasdale. I'm afraid this regrettable occurrence may plunge our countries into war.
Mrs. Teasdale: Oh, this is terrible!
Trentino: I've said enough. I'm a man of few words.
Firefly: I'm a man of one word: Scram!

[to Chicolini] I wanted to get a writ of habeas corpus, but I should have gotten a-rid of you instead.

I'm in a hurry! To the House of Representatives! Ride like fury! If you run out of gas, get ethyl. If Ethel runs out, get Mabel.

I danced before Napoleon. No, Napoleon danced before me. In fact, he danced two hundred years before me.

I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Trentino: I've given up the idea of a revolution. I have a better plan...I can gain control of Freedonia much easier by marrying Mrs. Teasdale.
Vera: Ha, ha, ha. Maybe that's not going to be so easy...From what I hear, you see, Mrs. Teasdale is rather sweet on this Rufus T. Firefly.
Trentino: Oh, well that's where you come in. I'm going to place him in your hands. And I don't have to tell you what to do or how to...

This is the fifth trip I've made today, and I haven't been anywhere yet!

Trentino: There's a machine-gun nest near hill twenty-eight. I want it cleaned out.
Chicolini: All right. I'll tell the janitor.