Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb quotes

59 total quotes (ID: 700)

Colonel 'Bat' Guano
Dr. Strangelove
General "Buck" Turgidson
General Jack D. Ripper
Lionel Mandrake
Major T. J. "King" Kong
Multiple Characters
Narrator
President Merkin Muffley


[on the phone, after having been told that the Russian Premiere is drunk] Hello? Uh, hello? Hello, Dmitri? Listen, I can't hear too well, do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? [pause] Oh, that's much better. Yes. Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri. Clear and plain and coming through fine. I'm coming through fine too, eh? Good, then. Well then, as you say we're both coming through fine. Good. Well, it's good that you're fine, and - and I'm fine. I agree with you. It's great to be fine. [Laughs] Now then, Dmitri, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the bomb. [pause] The BOMB, Dmitri! The hydrogen bomb! Well now, what happened is, uh, one of our base commanders, he had a sort of, well, he went a little funny in the head. You know. Just a little...funny. And uh, he went and did a silly thing. Well, I'll tell you what he did, he ordered his planes...to attack your country. Well, let me finish, Dmitri. Let me finish, Dmitri. Well, listen, how do you think I feel about it? Can you imagine how I feel about it, Dmitri? Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello? [sounding hurt] Of course I like to speak to you! Of course I like to say hello! Not now, but any time, Dmitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened. It's a friendly call. Of course it's a friendly call. Listen, if it wasn't friendly,...you probably wouldn't have even got it. They will not reach their targets for at least another hour. [pause] I'm sorry too, Dmitri. I'm very sorry. All right! You're sorrier than I am! But I am sorry as well. I am as sorry as you are Dmitri. Don't say that you are more sorry than I am, because I am capable of being just as sorry as you are. So we're both sorry, all right? All right.


I'm beginning to smell a big fat Commie rat. I mean, supposin' Kissof is lyin' about that fourth plane, just lookin' for an excuse to clobber us. I mean, if the spaghetti hits the fan, now we're really in trouble.

[to Mandrake] In the name of Her Majesty and the Continental Congress, come here and feed me this belt, boy...The Red Coats are coming!

If you try any preversions [sic] in there, I'll blow your head off.

[on the phone, in the War Room] Well, look baby, I can't, can't talk to you now, but... My president needs me. Of course Bucky would rather be there with you. Of course it isn't only physical. I deeply respect you as a human being. Someday I'm gonna make you Mrs. Buck Turgidson. Listen, you go back to sleep. Bucky'll be back there just as soon as he can. All right? Listen, sug', don't forget to say your prayers.

I think we ought to all just bow our heads and give a short prayer of thanks for our deliverance. LORD, we have heard the wings of the Angel of Death fluttering over our heads from the Valley of Fear. You have seen fit to deliver us from the forces of evil...

Turgidson: Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed, but I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops, uh, depending on the breaks.
Muffley: I refuse to go down in history as the greatest mass murderer since Adolf Hitler.
Turgidson: Perhaps it might be better, Mr. President, if you were more concerned with the American people, than with your image in the history books.

[as he rides on top of the bomb as it falls on the target]Aaaaaa hoooo! Waaaaa hooooo!

That's private property...OK, I'm gonna get your money for you. But if you don't get the President of the United States on that phone, you know what's gonna happen to you?...You're gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola Company.

[reading a transcript of a phone call by General Ripper] 'They are on their way in and no one can bring them back. For the sake of our country and our way of life, I suggest you get the rest of SAC in after them. Otherwise, we will be totally destroyed by Red retaliation. My boys will give you the best kind of start, fourteen hundred megatons worth, and you sure as hell won't stop them now. So let's get going. There's no other choice. God willing, we will prevail in peace and freedom from fear and in true health through the purity and essence of our natural fluids. God bless you all.' Then he hung up.

[on the necessity of a computer-controlled automatic trigger on the doomsday device] It is not only possible - it is essential. That is the whole idea of this machine, you know. Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy the fear to attack. And so, because of the automated and irrevocable decision-making process which rules out human meddling, the Doomsday Machine is terrifying. It's simple to understand. And completely credible and convincing.

Turgidson: You better give Elmo and Charlie a blast, and bump everything up to Condition Red and stand by the blower. [to Miss Scott] I just thought I might mosey over to the War Room for a few minutes. The Air Force never sleeps.
Miss Scott: Buck, honey...I'm not sleepy either.
Turgidson: I know how it is, baby. Tell you what you do. You just start your countdown, and old Bucky'll be back here before you can say...Blast Off!

I think I'd like to hold off judgment on a thing like that, sir, until all the facts are in...I don't think it's quite fair to condemn the whole program because of a single slip up, sir.

We must be...increasingly on the alert to prevent them from taking over other mineshaft space, in order to breed more prodigiously than we do, thus, knocking us out in superior numbers when we emerge! Mr. President, we must not allow...a mine shaft gap!

Ain't nobody ever got the Go code yet. And old Ripper wouldn't be giving us plan R unless them Russkies had already clobbered Washington and a lot of other towns with a sneak attack.