Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead

Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead quotes

31 total quotes (ID: 1030)

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Sue Ellen Crandell


Bruce: Hey, yo, Mad Dog. You want to park the car?
Hellhound: We're on a break, dude.
Mole: Yeah, park it yourself, Metallica-breath.


Rose: Why don't you go on home, have a glass of wine and put some cucumber slices on your eyes, you'll feel much better.
Sue Ellen: Well, I'm all out of cucumbers.
Rose: Sue Ellen, every girl over twenty-five should have a cucumber in the house.

Kenny: While you're off at the office all day doing interesting office things, I'm stuck here. Cooking and cleaning and mowing, helping Melissa with her fastball, being a role model for Zach, spending quality time with Walter, doing your party shit! You've got the car and you don't even take me anywhere anymore. And when was the last time we went out to dinner together, huh? You know, I'm sick and tired of not being appreciated.
Sue Ellen: I appreciate you.
Kenny: Eat some of this.

Gus: By the end of lunch we'll probably be sharing our intimate histories, stories of our first time. Next thing you know we'll be sharing a cigarette in post-coital bliss.
Sue Ellen: Are you talking about us having sex?
Gus: Hey, hold on, slow down, you're moving too fast for me! But if that's an area you're interested in, it can be arranged. And if it doesn't, I was kidding.

Katrina: She's leaving you guys all alone? what about the kids?
Sue Ellen: Kenny'll watch Zack, Melissa'll watch Walter and I'll have Mom's car. I can go to the beach, I can stay out as late as i want to, anything! I'm a free woman.

Zach Crandell: Cynthia, you're my moon goddess.

Rose Lindsey: Don't feel overwhelmed, just do one thing at a time.

Kenny: This place is a crock. We're never gonna make it through the summer. Man, I'm gonna hold up at Lizard's.
Sue Ellen: Oh, that's real brotherly of you Kenny. Always taking the easy way out. Don't you have any pride?
Kenny: No.
Melissa: I got an idea. When our food runs out, we can eat Elvis.
[the dog Elvis runs out of the room]

Kenny Crandell: [After shooting the dishes] The dishes are DONE, man.

Bryan: Anyway, the grunyan comes and lays her eggs in the sand and then the guy grunyan, he comes and fertilizes them.
Sue Ellen: So they don't like do it together?
Bryan: No, not like us. I mean like humans.

Sue Ellen: Kenny, why don't you save your last three brain cells, you might need them.
Kenny: I won't!

Carolyn: You... are supposed to go down... to personel. That is on the first... floor. There's a great big sign that says... personel. Do.. you... under... stand?
Sue Ellen: Yeah.

Bryan: I'd respect your privacy if you weren't so secretive.
Sue Ellen: Well, I'd tell you more if you didn't want to know so much.

Melissa: How come you gotta go?
Mom: Because, I've had a very rough 37 years and I need a break.
Melissa: You swore you'd sign me up for baseball.
Mom: Little League will still be there next year.
Melissa: So will Australia, I wish Dad were around.
Mom: No you don't.

Mom: Melissa, want to get down from there?
Melissa: No.
Mom: Get down from there.