Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead

Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead quotes

31 total quotes (ID: 1030)

Others
Sue Ellen Crandell


Kenny Crandell: [After shooting the dishes] The dishes are DONE, man.


Rose Lindsey: Don't feel overwhelmed, just do one thing at a time.

Zach Crandell: Cynthia, you're my moon goddess.

Bruce: Hey, yo, Mad Dog. You want to park the car?
Hellhound: We're on a break, dude.
Mole: Yeah, park it yourself, Metallica-breath.

Bryan: Anyway, the grunyan comes and lays her eggs in the sand and then the guy grunyan, he comes and fertilizes them.
Sue Ellen: So they don't like do it together?
Bryan: No, not like us. I mean like humans.

Bryan: I'd respect your privacy if you weren't so secretive.
Sue Ellen: Well, I'd tell you more if you didn't want to know so much.

Carolyn: You... are supposed to go down... to personel. That is on the first... floor. There's a great big sign that says... personel. Do.. you... under... stand?
Sue Ellen: Yeah.

Friend: Isn't your mom like leaving for months?
Kenny: Oh, you're right. BYE MOM, HAVE A BLAST!

Gus: By the end of lunch we'll probably be sharing our intimate histories, stories of our first time. Next thing you know we'll be sharing a cigarette in post-coital bliss.
Sue Ellen: Are you talking about us having sex?
Gus: Hey, hold on, slow down, you're moving too fast for me! But if that's an area you're interested in, it can be arranged. And if it doesn't, I was kidding.

Katrina: She's leaving you guys all alone? what about the kids?
Sue Ellen: Kenny'll watch Zack, Melissa'll watch Walter and I'll have Mom's car. I can go to the beach, I can stay out as late as i want to, anything! I'm a free woman.

Kenny: This place is a crock. We're never gonna make it through the summer. Man, I'm gonna hold up at Lizard's.
Sue Ellen: Oh, that's real brotherly of you Kenny. Always taking the easy way out. Don't you have any pride?
Kenny: No.
Melissa: I got an idea. When our food runs out, we can eat Elvis.
[the dog Elvis runs out of the room]

Kenny: Um... what should we do with her body?
Sue Ellen: Call an ambulance, call the cops, I don't know. Well, I mean they're gonna come and get her and they're gonna ask us a lotta questions...
Kenny: They'll probably blame us.
Sue Ellen: They'll definitely call Mom.
Melissa: SHE'LL blame us.
Kenny: Yeah, she'll hop the next flight home and then be in our faces.
Sue Ellen: I don't want Mom to come home.
Zach: I don't either.

Kenny: While you're off at the office all day doing interesting office things, I'm stuck here. Cooking and cleaning and mowing, helping Melissa with her fastball, being a role model for Zach, spending quality time with Walter, doing your party shit! You've got the car and you don't even take me anywhere anymore. And when was the last time we went out to dinner together, huh? You know, I'm sick and tired of not being appreciated.
Sue Ellen: I appreciate you.
Kenny: Eat some of this.

Melissa: How come you gotta go?
Mom: Because, I've had a very rough 37 years and I need a break.
Melissa: You swore you'd sign me up for baseball.
Mom: Little League will still be there next year.
Melissa: So will Australia, I wish Dad were around.
Mom: No you don't.

Mom: Melissa, want to get down from there?
Melissa: No.
Mom: Get down from there.